Benyi: 0:05

Hi, my name is Benny Johnson. As some of you know, I've been struggling with addiction. However, I decided to change my life and went into recovery. I started this podcast 90 days clean and I want to take you along in my journey. What does lie ahead of me? Let me be frank. I do not know. Will I ever drink again? I do not know. This is how Stairway to Redemption was born. It is my search for answer in a real time process of what is going to work for me. It is then my aspiration to help you figure out what is going to work for you. It is our journey together. Hello, and welcome to another episode of Stairway to Redemption. Today, we are going to talk about hypnotherapy. Yes. Hypnotherapy has been a very popular method to address trauma, especially childhood trauma and help with not only trauma recovery, but in addiction recovery as well, as we know, a lot of addiction is, uh, due to trauma, you know, our relationship with trauma and today's guest is RTT hypnotherapist and emotional healer, Carolina Fisher. To educate us on this topic. So hi, Carolina, how are you doing?

Karoline: 1:48

Hi, Benny. How are you?

Benyi: 1:50

I'm doing well. I'm doing well. So here at the Stairway to Redemption podcast, the first question is the state of the mind address, uh, it's, uh, basically, how are you doing lately? Like something deeper than I'm just doing fine or not fine.

Karoline: 2:06

Yeah. So, yeah, I'm, um, doing good. I'm still going to start with this.

Benyi: 2:11

All right. That's good.

Karoline: 2:14

Yeah. I always, you know, as a hypnotherapist and emotional healer, I always definitely work on myself. Right. I always try to become aware of deeper layers and especially with having kids where you get confronted with a lot of, uh, things daily. As they grow up, I am, um, yeah, I'm, I'm working on a lot of things at the same time, but at the moment, I think I could say boundaries is my issue. Like when I go deeper, right, like boundary setting, uh, being more assertive because I like to flow through life, you know, and I like to be very loving and kind and that's just how I like to be. But I realized, um, you know, certain people don't take that so well, right? Like where I need to set boundaries. I mean, I'm still going to be kind, but I'm going to set boundaries and say, okay, this far and not further. Right. Something I am learning at the moment, right? Because open and it's just my natural, um, how I am. Uh, and it feels a little unnatural to say, no, okay, no, I want it like this, right. And not, and we can't, I can't compromise this time.

Benyi: 3:24

Oh, all right. That's actually very good. I didn't think about talking about boundaries and energy people, but now I'm going to probably ask a question about that later, especially in your field. Of work, but, uh, thank you for sharing that. And okay, so let's start with, well, what is your story? How did you come in contact of, with, sorry, with hypnotherapy, especially after starting as a MD?

Karoline: 3:49

Well, I got in touch with it. So with the subconscious work, right? Because hypnotherapy is working with the subconscious of a person and talk therapy, right? The regular, um, conventional therapy, which I, I think it's great, right? But it works with the consciousness. And the consciousness is often, you know, we are often going in circles, right? Because we just, um, can't fight that transformation because in our brain we can always think differently, right? Um, and, uh, so how I came in contact the first time was With the subconscious work was through family, uh, system therapy, and that was in Austria. When I used to live in Austria, that was in med school. And that was overwhelming for me the first time. And then the second and third time I did that, it was really like physically altering me because I did it as a patient, as a client, right? Where I was really like, all was unlocking, right? I mean, I didn't even know my jaw was so tense, but I could really feel, ooh, bodily, something shifted. When we address something subconsciously and that was that and I'm just your question actually let me reminisce on that or let me remember that because. Then again, I was here already for a longer time and in, in the States, right? I moved here and then I, I felt like, you know, I wanted to work on myself again, and there were issues coming up and I realized just talking about it is great. And I have an amazing awareness, right? And people were like, Oh, you have such good awareness. But I realized the awareness alone is not letting me shift in my life.

Benyi: 5:28

Mm hmm.

Karoline: 5:29

And then I found out about Marissa Pierce, RTD hypnotherapy. And I just felt drawn to it. And from that on, I was just like, okay, I'm going to do this training. And I pretty quickly did. And so the subconscious, what I learned from working with the subconscious, it's just that the topics, the habits, the patterns, when you talk about addiction or childhood trauma, that they are usually in the subconscious, right? The word there, and we don't have access in our daily life. So that's why it's so powerful. And so in my own experience, once I started working with the subconscious with myself, I saw changes in my life and not only being able to identify, but really a behavioral change, right? And not somebody else telling me, Oh, you need to do this instead of this, but really it came out from me to behave a certain way or to perceive the world a different way. And so, yeah, I don't know if I even, um, directly replied to your question, but that's how hypnotherapy works, right? It's really on that subconscious level.

Benyi: 6:46

Mm hmm. Yeah. Um, no, yeah, you did. Uh, like my question was also how you go, so like, from what, uh, I gathered so far, You got in touch with hypnotherapy for personal reasons, but at the time you were training as a MD.

Karoline: 7:06

I had already finished that training. Oh, okay. Uh, and then I just felt drawn to it. Yeah, I was really like on the quest of my own answering my own questions and healing myself. And then, I mean, myself or with help, of course, right. Um, but then, and then I found Marisa Peer online RTT and then I think it didn't take long when I was so convinced that I said, yeah, I want to train in this. And I had already prior started to working as an emotional healer where I've dived into body subconscious, but she gave me a concrete tool and she also, I was also certified then, you know, like, and definitely. Yeah. So there were, these were my reasons for training with her.

Benyi: 7:56

Um, before we dwell in the, um, in the reasons why, uh, hypnotherapy should be used or work. Um, describe to us how a typical hypnotherapy session looks like.

Karoline: 8:13

So the typical one is three hours long. And that's good. I see you now because I, that was, that is the look I usually get.

Benyi: 8:24

Hours. Okay.

Karoline: 8:28

In the return, it gives you really Transformation. Right. And usually my clients are like, what, it's three hours already. You know, um, because it goes fast. So the ha the first half hour, we talk about the issue on a conscious level. Right.

Benyi: 8:42

Yeah.

Karoline: 8:43

And usually I also get an intake before where the client feels out already. You are in the consultation. I find more information about them already. And then we go into the hypnosis where we go with one or two questions, right? Let's say I'm coming in. to a hypnotherapist and I say, okay, I have an issue with, um, addiction with food. I, I just, I can't stop eating sweets and it's bad for me. I have already this and this showing up in my blood, right? And I need to do something, but I can't, right? And I'm very disciplined in other areas, but with food, I can't stop once I start, right? And so we're going to go into the subconscious, I mean, we're going to talk more, but we're going to go into the conscious asking, why can't I stop or why can't I be more disciplined when it comes to sweets or why can't I stop eating sweets? Or we can also, if we find out on the conscious level that already, okay, food gives me emotional, uh, it, it feels me emotionally, right? It makes me feel like I'm not so alone. Then we can say, okay, why? Do I use food to fill me up, right? For example. Then we go into the subconscious, and I always say, then scenes are gonna come up, right? And we always sense scenes. So a scene from our life, basically, I would say, now we're going back to a scene that is the exact reason why I can't be more disciplined with food today, or why I use food to emotionally fill me up, right? And the scene for different people. It might be different, right? For some people, they see it when they have, you have your eyes closed, they see exactly everything and they hear it and some smell it, some people just feel it, right? They can't see it. It's different with everybody, right? It's very individual. And then let's say I come up with a scene, right? Where, where I'm alone, where I'm, let's say five years old or seven years old, and I'm sad and nobody's here for me. My mother can't deal with my tears because she just says, Oh, stop crying. You know, it's not so bad, blah, blah, blah. And she's just leaving. And there's a cake there, right? And I eat the cake, and I feel so good, right, and I feel like, oh, this is making me feel better now, right, because nobody else made me feel better, right, and as a five or a seven year old, I depend on other people teaching me, being here for me, right, even as a 30 year old, I depend on other people making me feel better when I feel sad, right, I want that I can, you know, a shoulder to cry on, right? We, we need a lifelong, right? But especially as a child, because we learn how to deal with those overwhelming things. And then I eat the cake, right? And in my subconscious is stored when I feel bad, when I cry, when it's sad, I can eat something sweet and it makes me feel better, right? And it's not the best way. But it's the way I learn in this moment. So that could be right. And then in hypnotherapy, we would take that scene and we would be that five or seven year old again, because that's still in me, right? That's my child. We call it on my younger self. And then that Carolina, that younger version of me would say. Mom, right? She would see mom in front and she would say mom or mommy or however I called her or somebody called her. Why didn't you? I wish you would have hugged me. I wish you would have taken my emotions seriously, right? She can say everything that she couldn't say because nobody listened to her on that level, right? She can really express herself emotionally and that changes your entire life, believe me. Like, saying that changes the 30 now, you know? Uh, because Everything we suppress, right? And words are so powerful, is suppressed and stays inside. So if that five year old can say it now, it's never too late. It's really changing everything up until now in me. So I say that and then I can say, you know, whatever else is there that I wish. And then I can say, you know, I used food. Now I can see I used food to give me what you, what I wish you had given me. Right. But now I can see that. So I'm going to give you back that inability to console me. To be here for me on that level, and I'm going to be here for me that in that level, or I let other people be here for me on that level, right? Get that opportunity because often we also then close up and we don't let anyone else be here for us like that because we think it's normal what our mother did, right? I'm trying to make a mother bad here, right? Yeah, I get

Benyi: 13:29

it.

Karoline: 13:30

They always do the best they can, right? So I'm not for blaming. We also don't do blame, but we just look at what it did in you. And then through those words, right? And then you can say, okay, I'm giving you that back. And really imagine giving something back. And that changes something in you because now you don't carry that anymore. Right? You don't carry that thinking that, oh, it's too much for someone when I cry. Oh, I must be so hysterical. Probably when I cry, I'm too much. Right. So that all goes then. And then, you know, often tears are coming, right. And because, you know, we, we, we cry that out and then immediately, or obviously right afterwards, the relationship to sweets is changed,

Benyi: 14:14

right.

Karoline: 14:14

I use that to make me feel better when I cry. Now I'm using something else. Now I can say, okay, no, I'm going to call my friend next time, but I'm sad. I'm gonna. My friend, I'm going to do this or that. Um, so, and there are, so scenes coming up, but there are other ways I used to heal then in hypnosis, right? When we, that's one. And I think, yeah.

Benyi: 14:41

Well, okay. Yeah. Ooh, that's, there's a lot to impact there. That's a toy. Thank you. Thank you for the, but like our, I'm always curious, like, first of all, um, I was subconscious when I was subconscious, very stuff, right. It's in order to protect us, right?

Karoline: 15:02

Very good.

Benyi: 15:03

Yeah.

Karoline: 15:04

Very. So I always say also, um, you know, only those scenes, because I have clients come and say, well, what do you think this and this comes up? But what if something comes up that I can't take, your subconscious protects you, even when we dive into the subconscious, it will only give free. What it knows you are able to handle today.

Benyi: 15:30

Really? How? I'm curious, because like, uh, you know, like, since it's the subconscious and you're not conscious of it, can you put a limit on what you are unraveling?

Karoline: 15:46

That's a really good question. And looking back now, there were, I want to say some clients, things were come up, would come up that overwhelmed them a little,

Benyi: 15:56

here to

Karoline: 15:57

support, right? And that's why, I mean, you need to do that with someone, right, that has done that before. Uh, and the support helps you to deal with it then. Uh, but even the subconscious, I, I always say here we have our intelligence of the brain, right? Mm-Hmm. And then our body, our subconscious is the intuition, the intelligence of our body. So I still, yeah, I believe that although it's the subconscious, you are coming up with the scene, right? Yeah. I'm not ing you to come up with any scene, right? Mm-Hmm. still believe you come up with the scenes that are important right now. The scenes that you are able to deal with right now. Mm-Hmm? So. That's still my belief and my experience also, right? Like I said, I had scenes come up sometimes with clients that were very unexpected and, um, Um, yeah, very, um, surprising, but nothing in the end they couldn't handle in that moment with help. Right.

Benyi: 17:05

Okay. I see. So that's so my following up question with that. So, uh, there's, this is a two part question. So since you said, like, you know, the subconscious doesn't come up, there's no thing that comes up that you cannot handle. Yeah. Because even if it's a subconscious, like there's some kind of limit there to what you can handle, does it mean that like, at first, let's say like somebody come for a first session, you know, uh, what they, what they unravel, what their subconscious unravel at first is milder than what later sessions with you. So like they go deeper and deeper and like more severe trauma later on. Yeah.

Karoline: 17:54

That's a really good question. So I do believe once people come in with a certain topic, right, they are ready to unravel a lot of it. Right. Domain. So with me, it's usually people come in with one topic and then later they want to work on something else. So they want a little, they want a shorter session because we do the three hour session on one topic and then they can book shorter sessions to talk about it later, right. And about their progress and about, um, But then usually the next three hour session is usually about a different topic, because usually the unraveling is really working. It always brings the right stuff up, actually, the, the thing that they need to transform the issue. Like when it comes to tweets now, the example I gave, right. I've never had anyone that didn't come up with scenes that would help them get, transform that. So, um, Yeah, so I'm, I'm thinking, you know, maybe some scenes don't come up, but the scenes that come up are enough or other ones that are enough, right? So what I'm, how I, what I also tried, because I'm remembering your question, right? Um, what I'm thinking is as soon as you open up sometimes also when they need to fill out the intake form, right? I think you are already geared subconsciously. It's already gathering somehow, right? Like the, you're opening up to that topic. So I do believe there's a protection and I want to just reply to what you said before also, because it is protection. Even when I described that scene that I just made up right with, I'm eating cake because I'm not consoled in the moment, um, is basically, like you said, it is a coping mechanism, right? And in that sense, It is protecting me, right? So everything, so often I say those coping mechanisms and those survival mechanisms, they are helping us survive, right? They are important. I can see that as an adult, um, it might be in your way, right? As a kid, it might be important to survive, to dissociate, right? Or to, um, rationalize something that you shouldn't need to rationalize. But as a child, it's important, but as an adult, it's usually in your way and you can give it up.

Benyi: 20:32

Okay. I see. And, um, yeah, so when you, when people come to you, do you, how strong the subconscious can be good at burying things? Because, I'm, I'm sure you have, you know, um, among your clients, people who are like already predisposed to experience something new and you had other who are like very skeptical and just try because there is nothing else or like they were maybe forced to try, but like where their situation where like you were like, Ooh, that person's subconscious is really strong.

Karoline: 21:10

That's a really good question. I don't, I'm, I don't think I would say the subconscious can be stronger or not so strong, uh, in different people, uh, because it's really, we access it and then subconscious is subconscious, right? Okay. that are skeptical, but I don't have people that are so skeptical, right? That they don't believe it will work because then it probably won't work, right? Because if you don't think it'll work, you won't let me in the subconscious, right? So for example, I sometimes have mothers that want to send their children, right? And it works often when the child wants that too, or the teenager. Um, but if just the mother wants it, I, I would say, no, I'm not even taking that child, right? Because that's, I mean, it needs to definitely always be free will. And then you had someone that was a scientist, right. And she said she was very, very, very skeptical. So she was actually very surprised how it worked. Right. Um, but there needs to be an openness, right. Open, but I wouldn't say. There's more, but I think what you're also asking is, is, is it for someone that maybe was more skeptical? It can definitely be more surprising because they might have not had access to the subconscious, right? Because through meditation, for example, we can access that part, right? And if somebody comes that has never meditated, has never done anything, the subconscious must be, might be more surprising to them and might be more. foreign to them, and they might be almost a little scared, right? But others that tried meditation before, they are very, they're probably more familiar with it. Um, Yeah, but I also, so not, but I also send a little recording of eight minutes before I work with someone, I send an eight minutes recording so they can listen to the, to, uh, hypnosis, to my voice on the recording and they can see how that feels. So I always also, how does that feel? So they get a little taste because some people are really kind of like scared or kind of like a little bit.

Benyi: 23:21

It's like priming. It's like a little bit priming the body, the mind before accessing it. I get it. Yeah.

Karoline: 23:28

So,

Benyi: 23:31

so like once, um, a trauma has been uncovered through, uh, hypnotherapy, what is the following work that you do?

Karoline: 23:42

So the following work is really to being here for that client in that trauma, right? Because I love Gabo Amate, for example, right? He's an actress. I think he practices out of Canada, but he's world renowned. And he says that, you know, it's not that trauma keeps us traumatized, but trauma only keeps us traumatized. If nobody's here for us in the moment to be with us and to help us work through the trauma. Right. So if I'm experiencing something overwhelming as a child and nobody's here for me to hold that with me, right. To hold that emotion that I feel to help me work through then it becomes trauma and then it's stored in me. Right. and then it would come up again, right? Um, so, um, coming back to your question, Um, I actually, um, I forgot your question.

Benyi: 24:40

No, like what's the following work you said, like, you have to stay with them. So like, it becomes, does it become like then regular therapy? Yeah.

Karoline: 24:49

No, it becomes, yeah, it becomes that therapy up on the subconscious that I really guided before, right? Like you express what you feel in that moment, right? You express, I feel so overwhelmed. This scares me so much. I'm so lost. It's like, I wish somebody would be here now and hold me, right? For example, like, really, again, I mean, it sounds simple, but yeah, that's the part of the therapy. Expressing what you feel, expressing what that younger you felt in the trauma, in the moment of the trauma, right? Expressing that, expressing the emotions, crying if they feel like it. Be feeling paralyzed if they felt like it then, right? And then knowing that they went through it and knowing also the older self is here now. So at the end of that, I also always have the older self going in there, right? If it's my five year old in that scene and I see that. And after I talked to the other people in the scene, if there are any, then I would always let the me walk into the scene that I'm now. Right. The adult me and really tell that girl, I'm going to be here for you no matter what, right. I'm talking to the inner part of that, right. To my inner child that I'm always carrying in me. Right. Because when we grow older, we don't just shed the younger versions of us, right. They stay, stay in us. So that's how we really deal with the trauma, right. That transformation inside you. It's really, it really feels like something is like, I would say like something is like Tetris or like, no, I don't know. I mean, I think very analytical. So in Tetris, right, it all comes together, but it feels like it's falling and it's going down because it's, it's more like, uh, uh, a watch, right. It's, it's an old time watch, right. It's something moving and everything. So it's really like when you say those words, they're just so powerful. And they, um, yeah, and they really moved the entire system. So that worked through the trauma, right? Yeah. What, what are you feeling in that moment? What do you need? What did. What do you know now? Yeah,

Benyi: 27:04

yeah. I see. Um, so, you know, um, to go back to how strong the subconscious is, we all have trauma. It's fair that, you know, nobody can live without trauma, but should we address all trauma in our life, especially if they don't seem to affect us daily?

Karoline: 27:23

I love that question. No, I don't think so. Yeah, I think the one, and we usually also don't do it, right? We do the one. in in Our way, right? We usually only face our trauma or even realize we have trauma. Um, when it's in our way in the moment, right? When something is not working, right? I can't seem to have a good relationship. I can't seem to hold the job down. I can't seem to, um, not use any substances, right? That's when it, right. If nothing of that happens. I don't think anyone ever thinks, Oh, I had traumas, but I just don't know it. Let me

Benyi: 28:04

find it. Yeah. That's nonsense. Like, thank you for saying that because I will, I will like, I will be surprised if you had said otherwise, because yeah.

Karoline: 28:14

I love the question. It's such a good

Benyi: 28:17

question. If everything is good, don't, don't mess, don't mess with the system, you know, like everything, but, uh, Um, oh, you just mentioned it earlier, like, uh, you know, if you, you know, you seem to not be able to stop using drugs or alcohol, you're a victim of addiction. So, in a case of, you know, since this is a podcast about addiction and recovery, in the case of addiction, um, where like, you know, people cope with it. Alcohol or drugs to recover from their trauma, to process the ramification of their trauma. Um, that tells us through the steps with a victim of addiction, because even if they realize it, it's not, you know, because addiction is also a body thing, right? It's a body, uh, it's both mind and body addiction. They're not necessarily going to stop taking drugs or drinking right away, right? It's not like an emotional thing, right?

Karoline: 29:17

That's a good question. When I work Or when I work with addicts, I know it's also physical and I send them a tape out after the session, a very individualized tape of the last 15 minutes of the session where it's basically affirmed everything, what you want to do in the, in the, in the future, right? Being different to that substance. But since we, since we really healed that part, right? That was that. that void or that, you know, pain that made someone use substances to, to not feel that pain or to feel that void. Um, since we heal that, it is really all like, it's, it's really more the emotional part. That's what I experienced. Right. And the physical part is just following. I mean, I understand there are physical parts where you can really need to, right, you have, um, withdrawal symptoms.

Benyi: 30:23

You have withdrawal symptoms, yeah.

Karoline: 30:25

And that's physically, but from what I experienced, the emotional, psychological part is a bigger part of it. And, um, that really was the main chunk of the people I, um, have worked with, have had the pleasure of working with. So I wouldn't say I would, you know, say, no, that's not there,

Benyi: 30:48

but

Karoline: 30:48

I have not had it been, be a problem, uh, with the people I work with.

Benyi: 30:56

Okay.

Karoline: 30:57

Not saying it might not be for someone else.

Benyi: 30:59

Yeah. No, I understand. So like, basically, if even if you like, you know, um, you in recovery, like a person who is victim of addiction should work, it will be beneficial to them to work. With the subconscious of the trauma, but also to work on the physical part of it. Yeah,

Karoline: 31:20

yeah, yeah. And he had like AA meetings, right?

Benyi: 31:26

Yeah.

Karoline: 31:27

So much focus on mentorship, right? On really that emotional component to fill that with other activities, with other things. And. I mean, I think that's really also there, but just we do it in one or two sessions, right? That really, that, um, is uncovered and healed really, because once it's healed, there's not the need for that anymore.

Benyi: 31:48

Yeah, that's true.

Karoline: 31:50

If the emotional, psychological component is more than the need that the body needs it, right? Um, yeah.

Benyi: 31:58

Because you think that, uh, it's a mind stronger over a body at some point, right?

Karoline: 32:03

That's also, yeah, I, I realized I just said that I do believe, yeah, our body is, can be very strong, right? I mean, yeah, no doubt. Right. And, but I do believe, right, that our mind is really stronger because even like when I, right, when we tell our mind, I just said that even in the hypnosis, I often say to people, you know, to see how suggestible you are, imagine, I mean, their eyes are closed. Imagine there is. Half of a lemon piece, right? And you put it in your mouth and you imagine you squeeze that lemon in your mouth and all of a sudden your body producing saliva and you might, might make, might make a grimace because that's how you feel about it, but there was no real lemon juice, but your mind told your body there is, so your body reacted because your body did exactly what your mind told it, right? Your mind told it. But there's lemon juice and the body said, okay, then I need to react like this. Right. The same. When I tell myself, or when somebody tells me, Oh, you're so clumsy. Then when I tell myself I'm clumsy, then my feet will just drip over something. Right. I tell myself I'm clumsy. So my body's like, okay, I'm, I'm going to show you the clumsy, right. Whatever you want me to do. Right.

Benyi: 33:19

Yeah.

Karoline: 33:20

So that's what I definitely see and experience also. Yeah.

Benyi: 33:24

I see. Um, let's talk about a little bit of spirituality. How do you think a mind can recover from trauma, uh, without spirituality?

Karoline: 33:41

I love the question. Also, I feel like I actually don't even know my. Description of spirituality, because I do believe the work I'm doing is actually their spirituality involved, goes to the spirit. Um, but I think spirituality for me is also connected to religion. Right. And, um, Or to, you know, a higher power or God,

Benyi: 34:09

like higher. So my definition of spirituality is, yeah, like, uh, religion is very involved because that's what people get most of the time, but it's more like a description of a higher power, understanding that there's something out there that's bigger than you, that you cannot explain and being at peace with that, you know?

Karoline: 34:31

Mm hmm. Yeah, I, I think it's part of the work, really. I really do believe, uh, spirituality goes hand in hand with that work because I do believe even by the work I described just now, right, where we say those words in that space, right, where the person is not even here, but you give them back baggage that's not yours, or that's a spiritual practice in my opinion, right? Because we also do that when, I mean, I grew up very Catholic. I went to church every day for a certain period of time. So when, when I remember in church, they also, right. You give God your problems and you really believe he can solve it. Like, but God is in my opinion, that's my opinion. God is in you. Right. And in that moment, when you do that. The hypnotherapy, when you do healing of trauma, that's that God working in you, right, or that, I want to call it God, but that spiritual power working in you, right?

Benyi: 35:32

Yeah, I tend to agree too, like, I'm definitely a believer in, uh, like you mentioned AA before, like, I go to AA so often, but like, I'm more into the 12 steps and the book. And I really believe in being spiritual fitness for my case. I feel like that's being spiritually fit that it's keeping me sober. And yeah, you know, um, you mentioned earlier, uh, people's energy and being an emotional, um, healer. And, you know, when you described the, at the beginning, the thing about with, um, in your state of the mind, it was that you need to establish pathways and stuff. Uh, I found myself in situations even most recently where like I could sense more or less people's energy, like something that I couldn't put tangibly, you know, tells me that the energy was a little bit off. And, um, I found myself saying that to other people that energy never lies because what happens most of the time later on, I get, um, concrete example that my intuitions were confirmed, but me being also a very, uh, an analytical guy, you know, like pragmatic and, um, because I'm an engineer from profession, I, I still don't feel always comfortable just relying on that feeling because there's no empirical evidence that somebody did something wrong before me feeling that way about that person, you know, but then I get vindicated later when I, I get that information later, but. Do you think, do you think like people's energy can tell a story before even the action?

Karoline: 37:26

I do believe it, but I also do believe that your energy meter needs to be really, um, how do you say it? What do you need to do as an engineer? You know, you know, that

Benyi: 37:38

Calibrated.

Karoline: 37:39

Calibrate. Thank you. Because actually, that's where I am in my life where I'm like, I'm not sure if it's calibrated correctly now, or if I'm just bringing past experience into this, if this person

Benyi: 37:52

exactly. Yeah,

Karoline: 37:54

then it could be empirical, right? Because that past person could have the same energy, but I I believe, uh, because you said, you know, you're an engineer and analytic and stuff. I do believe just because we don't have studies to it yet. Like I said before, I hundred percent believe, you know, your brain has the intelligence that we usually need in our world, in school and studying, right? But our body has the intelligence of intuition, right? Or we call it intuition, right? So there is big intelligence, I mean, in our body, right? Um, and just, we don't, because we don't, uh, measure that with an eye. IQ yet, right? Or bodily cue. I mean, emotional cue that we can measure. Uh, but that doesn't mean it's not there.

Benyi: 38:40

It's just

Karoline: 38:41

proven doesn't mean it's not there. Right. So I believe, I mean, that's where I'm really am in my progress that I'm, uh, trying to figure out. Is it real, you know, or do I just need to step up, uh, take a few days and, and see and come back to it or the person and see how I feel. And was that right? Um, I think once you know, you can trust and you are, you are, your energy meter is calibrated. Then I think beautiful, right? Then I would definitely trust that.

Benyi: 39:18

Like, so me, I'm going to tell you about my process. So when my energy meter informs me that that person energy is a little bit off, what I try to tend to do is, uh, give that person more time before getting close to that person, because I want to protect myself. You talk about boundaries, you know, uh, some people are like, Oh, like, uh, you should not judge people. Because like, uh, you know, you don't know them and I agree with the greater aspect of it. That's true. But how do you establish healthy boundaries if you don't make an assessment of somebody else behavior like, you know, it's in order to protect yourself too. So if somebody, if somebody has energy or behavior is, I look at it, I'm like, Hey, I don't know about that person. Like, let me put like a stronger boundary in order to know them. I'm not like, do you understand the difference I'm trying to come to? I'm not judging them per se. I'm just being careful for myself, you know,

Karoline: 40:27

and I think that's amazing. Yeah, I think that's, yeah. That's exactly what I mean when I talk about boundaries, right? And with me, it's often that I let a person close already and then I need to push away and then establish a new boundary. Yeah. I think it's good that you, you look even, you look more carefully before you let them step closer. And I think, um, yeah, I think that's totally legit. I think that's important. Right. I just recently, my son is six. He picked up on that because he was like, you know, I, I like the word pillow talk in English, right? When you are a big. He recently asked me, mommy, are you friends with this person again now? Right. Because there was a friend in my life and she overstepped boundaries and it was very like, uh, she really attacked, harassed me and, uh, I had to set a boundary and I had to block her. Right. And, um, and that I probably couldn't even have seen before. I feel there were a few signs maybe, but anyways. Um, and I said, yeah, I am, but I. You know, I don't, because we see her everywhere. She has a son too. Right. But I don't, I wouldn't trust her fully again. Right. So I just, and it was very interesting because he really got that. And I think kids feel energy so much better because especially when they even younger, because they don't even have words yet. So they, all they have is energy. Right. Yeah. All they see and feel is energy. And we then really went through all my friends and his friends and see how much do we trust them, how far do we go with them? And I'm like, he's so in tune with that talk, right? That's so normal for him. So it should be normal for us to actually. And I just, yeah. Um, I think it's important because I, I found myself then in the park, not, you know, when you walk somewhere and you know, you can't look there or you don't want to say hi, and that's my opinion. That's restricting me.

Benyi: 42:24

Yeah, me too.

Karoline: 42:26

My openness. So I say, hi, and I chat a little, but I have a boundary now that is different than before.

Benyi: 42:33

Yeah.

Karoline: 42:34

That's really, again, going back to us, I listened to Aaron, Aaron Doughty, I think you would call his name today. And he said that so perfectly, right. When we blame others, when we put, when we judge, right.

Benyi: 42:46

Yeah,

Karoline: 42:47

go through our aura first, and it's harming us first, right? I wouldn't do that because it's harming me. So I would send them also the best, right? I'm not saying that's a bad person, right? I would just say, okay, I just want to establish this and this boundary with that person. That's just better for me. Right?

Benyi: 43:05

Yeah. Like, because me at the beginning, like I said, when I didn't have empirical data of a person being. You know, not bad, but like, let's say bad for me. I will be like, I will shut that. Uh, the instinct of the energy down because I'm like, Oh, I'm being just judgey. And then I'm going to let, I wasn't going to let them, I used to let them too close and it will cost me, you know, like, especially being in recovery and stuff. Like, you know, I had porous boundaries, uh, when I was in addiction and there are some people I should have cut off right away because, you know, just the, my instinct was about them was like, Yeah, that person, I'm not getting much about, you know, like they, they're just not for me, you know, yeah.

Karoline: 43:54

And I think we can also hear, I mean, you, you mentioned you have kids, right? We can learn so much from them because kids actually, they don't want to go to everyone. Right. I love the parents that say, I mean, there is a movement of parents that say, my kids don't need to hug anyone, even if

Benyi: 44:12

it's

Karoline: 44:12

They don't want that. I mean, if they just, I don't know. I mean, there's also, we know our kids, right. If they just want to harm someone or stuff, then it's different. But I mean, hopefully do that. Right. But, um, I don't force my kids to that, right? Because I think that's where also it can stem from that not being able to set boundary. Because if, if I tell my son, Oh no, you need to be nice to that person. You need to play with that person. You need to have that person when they don't feel it, then they have to do that in life later too, right? Then they do it. Well, in that harms them because I teach them that, right. So I think that's very important also for people that have kids to, um, consider that.

Benyi: 44:53

Yeah, that's, that's good. So like, uh, one last question before, uh, I give you the floor, um, it's a question that I ask, uh, every guest, uh, what is your relationship with alcohol and drugs in general?

Karoline: 45:09

Yeah. So I mean, at this point, none of it, um, is interesting to me. I, I, yeah, I just, um, I know it exists, right? That's my relationship. Um,

Benyi: 45:22

I

Karoline: 45:24

drinking then and when, before I got pregnant with my little one now, and then I saw a lot of studies that said not even a little bit alcohol is good for you. And it was not, so I'm not drinking at all. And drugs, I have to say, I'm actually, I have to, I, I lied before because one thing I, I feel like I wanna try one day is ayahuasca, so that's. I, I'm open to and I, I'm, um, I want to try at one point in my future, but other than that, um, yeah, uh, my relationship, I don't know how I would even call that is non

Benyi: 46:00

existent

Karoline: 46:02

very far. Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't, it doesn't influence me really. Yeah. Yeah.

Benyi: 46:10

Okay. All right. So, you know, we're hitting the 45 minute mark here, and that was a beautiful conversation. So I'm going to leave the floor up to you. Like you can, you know, conclude or let me know or ask a question. It's up to you.

Karoline: 46:26

I really love this conversation. Thank you so much for your wonderful questions. I mean, definitely leave my, um, my website here. So it's www. Why hypnotherapy. com. So you can look it up. I just got a marketing assistant. She made that out of it. So that's all I would leave you with because I, you really, um, your questions were so amazing that I actually said everything I would ever want to say about hypnotherapy.

Benyi: 46:57

All right. That's great. By the way, that's a great domain name. Why hypnotherapy? That's awesome. Like that's easy, you know, like, yeah.

Karoline: 47:05

Thank you.

Benyi: 47:07

All right, guys. Uh, thank you for listening and I'll see you guys for the conclusion. Bye. All right, all right, all right. This concludes episode number 52 of Hypnotherapy. Thank you very much to Carolina for being a wonderful guest to the podcast. I learned so much about this practice that I thought was kind of obscure at first. Like for me, hypnotherapy was like A lot of like hypnosis, you know, uh, transform people, not transform people, but make people act like, you know, uh, roosters and that kind of stuff, you know, that's just, um, that's my, uh, preconception I had of the thing because of what I saw on TV, but yes, I did learn a lot. I hope that you guys really like this episode. I attach all the information for Carolina on the, on the podcast description. I might even be myself tempted to, to try a session. We never know. And um, as always guys, follow us on social media, supporters to the podcast and yeah, supporters to Patreon as well. And I will see you guys in a few weeks. Bye.