Episode 50: Pre-Existing Condition

Benyi: 0:05

Hi, my name is Benny Johnson. As some of you know, I've been struggling with addiction. However, I decided to change my life and went into recovery. I started this podcast 90 days clean and I want to take you along in my journey. What does lie ahead of me? Let me be frank. I do not know. Will I ever drink again? I do not know. This is how Stairway to Redemption was born. It is my search for answer in a real time process of what is going to work for me. It is then my aspiration to help you figure out what is going to work for you. It is our journey together. Hello, hello, and, uh, welcome to another episode of Stairway to Redemption. Today, I have Amanda. Amanda is a good friend of mine. She's my partner in crime in kickboxing and, uh, working out in the gym. Um, in addition of being a great kickboxer, she's also a nurse and she has, um, the very peculiar relationship with alcohol. She's type one diabetic. So she's going to tell us her story and her, what it is like to, uh, to navigate a social space and drinking while being a type one diabetic. And I think that's, you know, her input is very valuable because, um, I don't think I've ever interviewed somebody who had a pre existing condition like this. That makes drinking being a challenge, you know, and it's always good to hear people from different sides, from different stories. And yeah, so I give you guys Amanda. Amanda, how are you doing?

Amanda: 2:10

All right, you know, started a new job, getting, you know, pretty used to it. All right. Um, worked out today with Brandon. Yes.

Benyi: 2:21

Shout out to Brandon. We just came out for a workout. So that was good. That was challenging. It was. Yeah. But, uh, so this leads us to our first question, um, for those who knows the podcast, the first question is the state of the mind address. So what's your state of mind lately? Um,

Amanda: 2:41

state of mind, um, I'd say I've been. I'm anxious because, you know, like I said, I started this like new job, so I'd say that it's been a little bit difficult for me to like navigate like a new like nursing system and new nurses and, you know, I guess getting to know the hospital. But other than that, like, I'd say my psyche is doing okay.

Benyi: 3:17

All right. Uh, that's interesting. Like I never heard, you know, from what I, I understand or what I imagine actually my mind when I see nurses switching hospital or working to a different hospital. I'm like, for me, it's like. Just do nurse stuff, right? Like, how is it different? But no, the dynamic between the doctors, between your co workers and also learning a new system, I'm like, Oh, okay. That whole change. Yeah. That

Amanda: 3:46

makes sense. Some hospitals have like different, um, computer, uh, systems. So the first hospital I was in, they used Sunrise, which is totally different. And now I'm using something called Epic. And a lot of the doctors, which is like so strange to me, they all use what's called epic chat. So it's, you know, nobody like uses the phone anymore. They all like text each other, which is just totally different for me.

Benyi: 4:17

Oh, okay. Wow. I didn't know. Like, uh, I mean, I, I could imagine that people had different softwares, but I didn't know there was a chat for you guys to use. Like that was, that's definitely totally different. Yeah. So like no more trying to decipher like, uh, doctor's handwriting, like that now.

Amanda: 4:39

With telephone orders, sometimes, like, you don't hear them, so it's kind of nice to, like, see them write, like, exactly what it is that they want.

Benyi: 4:47

Yeah, right? Because, like, doctors are notoriously bad for their handwritings, right? Like, it's even a joke, like, you know, there are, like, memes about it. Yeah, so, um, yeah, so, like I said, like, um, What is your relationship with alcohol?

Amanda: 5:08

So my relationship with alcohol, I would start with when I was a teenager. Okay. My relationship with alcohol wasn't the greatest. Because like you said, I'm a type one diabetic, uh, just to let everyone know type one diabetes is when your pancreas does not produce any insulin. So for me, I have to wear an insulin pump that injects insulin all throughout the day. Um, so for me growing up, I didn't know anyone else with type one diabetes. I didn't know anyone else who was drinking with diabetes. Uh, so I would say I didn't really. Um, take care of it as much as I wish I would have. Um, with drinking, as you know, like sometimes people will do like vodka cranberries or vodka sodas. That's pretty detrimental when you're drinking with type one diabetes because it could raise your blood sugar. So for me, I didn't know, like my limit at all. Um, when I became a nurse, I was able to better understand my limit and also, uh, find out what kind of drinks work better for me this way. I wasn't having any, um, bad, um, responses with my diabetes. So, uh, you know, I learned later on, like, do Like Diet Coke, say, with vodka, or do, say, a Bud Light, you know? Yeah. But, um, alcohol really, um, masks the symptoms of low blood sugar. So Sometimes you could mistake, um, being low, having a low blood sugar for being drunk.

Benyi: 7:11

Oh, really? How do you don't know

7:13

that?

Amanda: 7:14

A lot of people don't know that, you know? I mean, I've had stories, you know, where I was like out in public or say my mom was out in public and somebody like collapsed at work or they were slurring their speech and right away somebody thought they were drinking on the job. And it turns out That they were a type one diabetic and they were having low blood sugar. Um, I guess I'll go into what low blood sugar is, just so what people know what it is.

Benyi: 7:48

Yeah, go on, please be as technical as you want, because like, I don't know much about diabetes. So I'm learning, I'm learning. So like when you, when you said, uh, that, uh, people that were had no low. Blood sugar acted like, you know, people thought they were trying all the symptoms. Like people all look like they are like wasted or something. Yeah.

Amanda: 8:14

So what happens is when your blood sugar reaches like a low point, so a low blood sugar would be considered like 70. Um, what happens is like, I could start to get confused. I could start to get really anxious. I'll be really hungry. I'll start shaking and a lot of people like mistake because you start slurring your speech Yeah, they start to think like oh like it has this person been drinking, you know Oh, you know You wouldn't really know unless You had it, you know, or you knew something, you had type one diabetes.

Benyi: 8:56

Really? That's very interesting. And is there like a difference in, so like what does alcohol actually do when you drink it? So let's say like you drink it, what is the problem? The problem is the mixed drinks or the alcohol itself has an

Amanda: 9:12

effect? It's the alcohol itself. You know, because when you do drink, you do tend to like get lightheaded and you slur your speech when you have too much. Um, so. You know, I, I would go, like, say I drink too much, I would go and I wouldn't even realize if my blood sugar was low, or I'm sure like when people have like a hangover, they feel nauseous, they feel dizzy, the room is spinning, you know, like it really masks, like, what could be, like, a really dangerous low blood sugar.

Benyi: 9:46

Oh, okay. So if I understand it correctly, you could attribute The, uh, the state, the feelings you have to being drunk when it's actually the low blood sugar, that's acting. Yeah. Okay. That's, that's dangerous because what if both are acting and you don't know, like, you know, you, yeah, it could be

Amanda: 10:08

like really detrimental. I mean, if it goes way too low, I could have a seizure. Um, I could become unresponsive. Yeah. You know, I have to be very, very careful when I drink. And honestly, like, because of it, like I don't really necessarily drink that much because it winds up not being fun for me because I will to properly take care of my diabetes.

Benyi: 10:38

Yeah, I can only imagine that, uh, like, you know, you being forced, I mean, yeah, forced because you don't want to pass out in public like that. Also, you want to take care of yourself. That makes sense. But like, is there any difference between type 1 and type 2 diabetes when it comes to drinking alcohol? Do you know? Um

Amanda: 10:59

It's basically the same, uh, thing, uh, that I would say is different between type one and type two is type two, like their pancreas still semi works. Whereas mine doesn't work at all. Oh, okay. Yeah. But the symptoms would be the same, you know, because type two diabetics still experience low blood sugar, and they also experience high blood sugar.

Benyi: 11:27

I see. Huh. That's interesting, but isn't, I don't know, isn't, um, alcohol or no sugar is transformed into alcohol, right? That's what like the process of making alcohol is, but like in your body. Like, they cannot use alcohol as fuel, right?

Amanda: 11:47

Um, I don't, I don't think that sugar is converted into alcohol. Um, Yeah. If anything, like, what happens is if you mix sugar with alcohol, it could do, like, high blood sugar, which is also something that you don't want with diabetes.

Benyi: 12:06

Okay, that was what I was thinking that like sugar mix with alcohol raise also your blood pressure, right? Your blood sugar, blood sugar. Yeah,

Amanda: 12:16

and you know, you don't want that either because like you, you know, you'll have like extreme thirst, blurred vision, um, you'd have to like go to the bathroom regularly. It like causes so many different problems

Benyi: 12:32

and that's still valid for a diabetic only or like for a regular person, just like with those just diabetic. So basically diabetic, they don't need to worry. Okay, so my understanding of diabetes was you only need to worry about low sugar, you know, but you also need to worry about high sugar. So you need to stay within the range. Okay, I got it. Like, yeah, that you have

Amanda: 12:57

to stay in. Sorry, you have to stay in a very tight range.

Benyi: 13:03

Okay, I get it. I get it. I get it. Um, but yeah, before we talk about. You know, how you do in the ranch, do you mind talking to us about your story when you went to Europe and you had to, you know, you had a bad trip because of, you know, um, there was an excessive drinking and also if I remember correctly, we talked about that earlier, but like, do you want to talk over what happened in that Eurotrip? Um,

Amanda: 13:35

so it wasn't excessive drinking. Uh, there were other things that were involved. Okay. Um, I don't mind talking about it. Um, it's, it's a little bit of a touchy subject, but I will talk about it.

Benyi: 13:52

Share as much as you want. If there are things you don't want to talk about, that's, that's fine. Yeah. You know.

Amanda: 13:58

Um, so prior to the trip to Europe, I was like going through, um, some. Anxiety and some depression. Um, I was having a tough time with, um, starting a new job. It was like a very big change for me, um, that I wasn't ready for. Uh, one thing I was worried about was my diabetes because I wasn't going to be on endurance for a little bit. Um, so prior to the trip, um, I wound up like going like days without sleeping and, uh, wound up having to, um, you know, see a doctor, uh, to, you know, figure out like how I could like start falling back asleep again and, uh, you know, they prescribed me medication and when they prescribed me the medication, I took it, but then I had to follow up with another doctor, wound up going on this trip, Didn't follow up with the doctor and wound up partying for hours on end in Ibiza and wound up going without sleep again. So, I wound up having to be hospitalized for multitudes of reasons, but one of them being my diabetes because, um, there's a time difference. And so my insulin pump was still on like American time. Oh shit. So I wound up like going into like, what's called like DKA, which is diabetic ketoacidosis, where your body basically shuts down and you're like, Oreum's like, stop basically working. You start like you're on protein and your urine ends. Like you start throwing up and vomiting, you can't keep anything down. So I wound up like hallucinating because of how high my blood sugar was. Like they wound up having to like rush me to the emergency department and you know. Had to come home and wind up being hospitalized here

Benyi: 16:28

to that's insane. Like, so the trip was cut short basically. I mean, for obvious reason, but I like something has like the pump insulin that being scheduled, you know, giving the time differences and those little tools to all the reason that makes. That makes like, I don't know, like traveling, like, like a challenge, like, you know, like for you, you need to like, I guess I, I will say that like for you, traveling involves a lot of like, uh, preparation, right? You cannot just go get up and take a plane and. Go to Europe like most people could, you cannot just like backpack to Europe. Oh, I

Amanda: 17:16

wish. I mean, that's a lot of preparation. And one thing that a lot of people who are healthy, like don't have to worry about is like carrying these medications. That you got a specific room temperature, you know, in order for it to work. So a lot of these places in Europe, like they're very big on like, you know, um, keeping the ocean clean and, um, not using too much energy and stuff. So a lot of the times, like if you didn't have your card, like in the hotel, um, In the hotel, uh, like slip, I don't know what it's called. Like it turns the lights on and off. You didn't physically in there, it would shut off like every single electronic in the room, including the refrigerator. Oh, my insulin was going bad because one it's the summertime and two, you know, everything's melting in the refrigerator. So. You know, people don't have to worry about that. My sister is hanging out on the beach having fun, you know, and I'm like, Oh my God, I hope my insolence like working in the fridge. I mean,

Benyi: 18:36

that's insane. Like, I mean, I heard of those like power saving, like things that they do, you know, like turning off the lights on the timer or something like that. But about the fridge. And like every electronic outlets, that's, that's nuts. Like, yeah, I mean, yo, that's, I commend you. I, I mean, I, I get what, and that, you know, coupled with everyday life, like let's say, like you're anxious about a new job or like, you know, maybe some relationships or like anxiety that we all have depression that sometime we all have. The combination is like basically a double whammy, right? Like, like how you manage that?

Amanda: 19:17

Um, to be honest, like it took some time for me to be able to manage it. I feel like it was more managed when I did start the job and like, I started like getting things moving. Uh, you know, I usually manage it by working out, like, that's my biggest, you know, relaxation. Yeah. You know, whether it's going for a walk or, you know, taking classes at the gym.

Benyi: 19:49

Yeah. And that's, uh, where I believe that you and I, we're friends now because like the importance of what like working out at the gym is to us. And, uh, yeah. That's a big help. Yeah. Like, uh, before I go back to the gym and what it does for us, um, did you, do you, uh, take all the medication in addition of what you have for your diabetes?

Amanda: 20:17

Um, I do take other medication. Um, you know, sometimes I take stuff for anxiety now, now that like that whole thing happened, like, you know, um, but other than that, no.

Benyi: 20:34

Yeah. And, uh, do you have still to watch out or do they interact with each other or like, they, they don't, they don't interact with each other, those medications? No,

Amanda: 20:44

they don't

Benyi: 20:44

interact with each other. Yeah, that's good. Thank God. Because I, I didn't know if you still had to. You know, play with those age of other medication because you had diabetes, you would tap on diabetic, you know, like, uh, that, at least that's, that's, that's positive, you know, but, uh, going back to the gym, um, unfortunately, there is a new wave of like people using, uh, diabetic medicine to like, you know, especially Mozambique, I'm sure you're aware of it, you know, to, to, to lose weight, it's, it Uh, you who need your medicine, who need your insulin, who need all of it. What is your position? How do you feel when you see those people doing that?

Amanda: 21:28

Um, I mean, they do pay like an arm and a leg to get this medication. And Ozempic is usually used for type two diabetics. Um, so, you know, I, I'm okay with it. You know, they're not like taking away from like me needing the medication. So I'm all right with it. Uh, I do, however, believe that like insulin prices are absolutely ridiculous, especially for some living with type one diabetes. Like, if you don't have, like, the right insurance, your insulin could cost you, like, more than a hundred dollars, like, a month, and, and that's just for insulin alone. Sometimes people are paying, like, a thousand dollars just to, like, wear, like, the insulin glucose monitor so they don't have to, like, prick their fingers, like, five, six, seven times a day. Like very

Benyi: 22:25

unfair. That's crazy. What, what do you have? I saw your problem. So like, you, you have a monitor, right?

Amanda: 22:31

I do two. Okay. Uh, one, the bigger sized one is my insulin pump. Okay. Um, that's the one that gives me insulin all throughout the day. And then the smaller one, uh, is connected by Bluetooth. And it shows me my blood sugars on my phone. Yeah. Yeah. And what's cool about that, I'm gonna get a little nerdy, I can share my insulin, my sugars with like my family and like sometimes when I'm like in a relationship, like, you know, I like them enough or if they like me enough, they'll call me and be like, Hey, your blood sugar's high. You might want to, you know, you know, give yourself some insulin. Hey, your blood sugar's low, you know, make sure you're drinking juice.

Benyi: 23:17

Yeah, that's that's that's pretty cool. Oh, I remember a day very specifically your blood sugar was Low and it just hit the alarm. And I was like, what's that? Oh, she was like, it's my pump. And like, within a minute, your mom called you. And I was like, what? That's pretty cool. And she was like, yeah, are you okay? Are you all right? Is everything okay? Like, you know, that's, that's, that's actually pretty cool because like, I mean, before all that technology, it was definitely, wait, what was, what were people doing back in the day before all that technology, you had to prick your finger every day.

Amanda: 23:53

Yeah. So it got. So much better. Some people were using, like, these dipsticks for their urine to test their urine, their blood sugar. Oh, okay. And then for my generation, it was pricking your finger and you would have to do it like seven times a day, sometimes even more. And now we have on our, our phones, like you just swipe the screen and be like, Oh, that's my blood sugar. Okay.

Benyi: 24:21

That, yo, even pricking your finger every day, that must be not painful, but irritating.

Amanda: 24:26

Like, It's very irritating. I used to have like black little dots on all my fingers because of how often I would have to poke my finger.

Benyi: 24:34

Yeah, like, and you need to switch between fingers because you cannot bring the whole, the same finger every time, right? No, you can't. That's crazy. And okay. So go back to the insurance. Um, I don't know if you remember the Martin Shkreli incident. He's the one that raised the price of like, uh, insulin, right? That like, it was used to be at the regular, at the original price until, um, The right for it when, okay, I need, I need to probably need more detail on it because I kind of vaguely remember what happened, but the price shoot up all of a sudden, right?

Amanda: 25:11

Um, I think the prices were always, uh, high. I, I blame big pharma. That's, I feel like they make so much money off of all these supplies that like diabetics use.

Benyi: 25:24

Okay. And like, uh, how does the insurance, because even you were saying earlier that you were anxious because between switching job, you will have be, have been, uh, out of insurance for a little bit. And how long was that little bit? Like how, how long for you is scary not to be with insurance? A month?

Amanda: 25:49

I mean, even a week, you know, anything, when you have like a chronic illness, like you never know what's going to happen, you know? Okay. So for me, I luckily didn't go long without insurance at all. Uh, I wound up like having a grace period for my old job where like I've had like two weeks of like their insurance. And then like I switched over to the other job and then luckily I was on their insurance. Okay. I think I want like a two week period without having insurance

Benyi: 26:20

because a lot of job it's definitely standard for them to have you at least for a month before you can sign up for the insurance, right? Like, I'm no, I mean, I changed job to, you know, uh, yeah, like the minimum is like, usually you have to stay there for a month, you know, because What, what if you fire the next week? Like they don't want to.

Amanda: 26:43

So like, you know, being a diabetic, like it was very scary for me, you know, having a gap in insurance because my God, like insulin prices or just going to the hospital alone, you know, it's, it costs. It could cost you thousands of dollars. Yeah. So for me, it was like just very nerve wracking, uh, because to my old job was basically trying to scare me into not taking the job. So they were like, Oh, like one of our friends were bullied out of that hospital. Like what happens if they do the same to you? And I'm like, so now I have to be worried about. Hating it and then also not having insurance. So I was like, don't do this to me.

Benyi: 27:26

Oh my God. That's, that's, that's not cool. That's really not cool. Yeah. Yeah. I mean like the whole insurance game is so it's, so it's like very like representative of what health insurance is in America. And, um, you know, it's, it's, it's crazy. Like, so even with insurance, like how much is it a month for you? So

Amanda: 27:57

at my old job, I was paying, uh, a hundred dollars just for my insulin prices, for my sensors, I was spending another hundred dollars. So it was costing me about 200 a month for my supplies. At this job, luckily I go to their diabetes and education center. So now it's costing me 0, which is absolutely amazing.

Benyi: 28:27

Oh, I got an extra 200 a month. That's cool.

Amanda: 28:30

Yeah, you're telling me. So it really worked out for me, thank God. But like, I have friends that like, if their insurance isn't that great. Sometimes they have to, like, switch over, like, different types of insulins because the insulin is costing them too much a month. Or, like, sometimes they won't cover, like, certain, um, diabetic supplies, like test strips. So, depending on your type of insurance, it causes such a, like, stress. Being a diver. Yeah.'cause now you have to be like, okay, like what can I use this year? What are they covering this year?

Benyi: 29:04

Oh my God. That's, that's, that's crazy. And you say like, different type of insulin. So like there different qualities of

Amanda: 29:10

insulin. Yeah. They have all different types. They have Humalog, Novalog, they have like, uh, a faster acting, um, I'm blanking on the name, but like, there's so many different types and like, depending on your insurance, they'll be like, sorry, we're not covering this one this year. It's like, oh, okay. That's great. This

Benyi: 29:31

year? So it varies from year to year too? Yeah.

Amanda: 29:36

You have to like basically call your insurance company and be like, Oh, what am I covered under this year?

Benyi: 29:43

Yo, this is like a Russian roulette, basically. Yeah, basically. Oh my God, that's insane. And

Amanda: 29:50

the ozempic that you were talking about. Some people on diabetics use it in order to bring down their insulin sensitivity and they won't cover that under insurance because they only like qualify it for being for type 2 diabetics or weight loss. Oh, so that's the only hate I have towards Ozempic and also the insurance company because like You know, my brother's on ozempic and he uses it for insulin sensitivity. And he asked it like, he has to get it from Canada. He gets a shipment from Canada because it's cheaper there than it is here. Can you imagine?

Benyi: 30:30

No, it's insane because yeah, I know other people who get the medicine from Canada. Like, can you imagine getting your things shipped from Canada? Because Like the American healthcare system is so horrible, like it

Amanda: 30:47

doesn't make sense. No, it really doesn't make sense. Terrible. I mean, I really think it should be covered under insurance, but.

Benyi: 30:56

Um, but what if, what, I heard some people say, and I don't know how realistic it is because you said it like it's hard, but like, can you stockpile on insulin, like, realistically? Uh,

Amanda: 31:11

no, because, uh, insulin goes bad after a certain amount of time. Like, once it's out of the fridge, it's only good for like a month. Okay. Oh, I mean, it's good for about a year. I would say maybe two years. I'd have to take double check. Take a look. But I wouldn't pile on insulin, you know, because after a while it's like you have all of this supply and then it'll go bad after a while.

Benyi: 31:37

Okay. Even if you put them in the fridge, if

Amanda: 31:40

you put in the fridge, it'll, it'll last you for a while, but

Benyi: 31:46

not that long. Like, because like, yeah, go

Amanda: 31:49

ahead. I like, I have like long acting insulin that I usually get, like for when I go on vacations and that like only lasts like about a year, you know? So like, if I'm not using it, then it just goes bad. And then it's like a waste.

Benyi: 32:04

Okay. Yeah. Speaking of vacation. So now what is your game plan for future vacations? Have you been back on vacation since that last

Amanda: 32:15

trip? To be honest, no, because I've been so afraid after that trip. I don't even want to go on a vacation.

Benyi: 32:21

I don't blame you, girl. I don't blame you.

Amanda: 32:24

But you know, I was going with people that didn't know me. And then too, it's like, I don't want to like put my diabetes on them type thing. So if anything, I would probably go on like a trip with like. My family, I think that would be like a good start

Benyi: 32:39

thought.

Amanda: 32:39

Yeah. But, uh, my game plan is like big, I have to get like a doctor's note so that like, when I go flying, they know like it's medication, I have to like call them and get like a long acting insulin. God forbid my pump breaks. There's a huge checklist that you have to go down and be like, do you have this? Do

Benyi: 33:02

you have that? That's, that's nuts. Like, I, I understand like, you know, now that we're talking more in details about that trip, like it's, um, it's, it's, it's, it's a game plan. Like it's a real game plan. Like, you know, it's not like a blue, like being for healthy people. I mean, by healthy, I mean, those who don't suffer from like chronic illness like that. Um, making a trip. Is already stressful, you know, from the point of, uh, financial and making sure you stay within a budget and that, but like you, in addition of probably staying within a budget, you need to stay within a certain health French, like, you know, because. Like you, you don't want like your parents to fly to go get you at that kind of stuff. Exactly.

Amanda: 33:56

Yeah. I'm terrible about it. I'm going to tell you stories where my insulin pump, like I went skiing with friends and my insulin pump froze. Yeah, like I had to like rush back to the hotel and like, you know, put my insulin pump in like blankets to like cool it down. I was like nervous that it wasn't going to work. Thank God again because I have that checklist. I was like, okay, I have long acting insulin. I'll just have to take it at this time. So, you know, I've had it where it was out in the sun for too long. And I didn't know, like, it could overheat. So it overheated and it broke. No way. Sometimes you prepare for, prepare for every little thing possible, but sometimes you just don't know what's going to happen.

Benyi: 34:43

No, that's, that's, that's like, I mean, they will design, you think that they will design those to sustain at least a ski trip, right? Or people at the beach, right? Like, it's not like you went to like, I don't know, it's like you went to like the North pole or like some places like, you know. That's nuts, like, I, I don't know, it's crazy.

Amanda: 35:06

I call myself Cinderella sometimes. Like, if I wake up clock striking midnight and like, turn into a pumpkin, I'm just gonna like, turn into a bad diabetic or something.

Benyi: 35:20

That's funny because speaking of friends and Cinderella and stuff. Tell us about how you navigate now your social life, knowing with type one diabetes. So you told us like you're mindful of your drinking because you can mask some aspect. But what is it like for you to, like, go out with your friends to meet new people?

Amanda: 35:43

Um, so to meet new people, um, you know, it's, it's not bad, I would say. Like, I usually, like, I'm pretty open with my diabetes. So I would like tell them, Hey, like I'm a type one diabetic. Like I don't drink that much, or, you know, I'll tell them that like, I can't have like sugary mixed drinks. Like, you know, I stick with the light beer. And what I usually do is like, I'll have one drink and I'll hold onto it for like one or two hours. You know what I mean? Like just to make it seem like I'm drinking. But I'm really not,

Benyi: 36:19

yeah, like, uh, I totally get that because, uh, do you feel like peer pressure sometime by the group of, uh, people, uh, I mean, you know, with the people that you go out with, sometimes they're like, oh, let's do shots or like they gives you drinks. Does it happen, for example, that's an example right there that somebody who wants to buy you drinks and they're happy about it and you felt bad because they spent maybe the money to get you to drink and you're taking a drink that you shouldn't like, is that sometime?

Amanda: 36:49

Um, sometimes, I mean, I try not to fall into the peer pressure. Drinking. I mean, I honestly try to avoid people that try to push me to drink more than I want to. Yeah. Um, because then I feel like they don't like understand like where it is that like I'm coming from, you know, or like, they don't really understand like what it is to like have diabetes and know what it is to have to deal with that while drinking. So, like, I try to, like, limit, like, or kind of, like, get to know, like, people before I, like, I go out with them so that, like, I know, like, I'll be okay towards the end of the

Benyi: 37:29

night. Yeah, because like, um, if I were to guess you want to be with people who take care of you, if something happens, right? Like if something were to happen,

Amanda: 37:41

right. I, I much rather prefer that, you know?

Benyi: 37:46

And, uh, do you think like, uh, people are educated enough on the subject of, you know, uh, diabetes? Like, is it, do people understand like, When you tell them that you're diabetic, you cannot drink as much as they do, what's the, what's people's reaction?

Amanda: 38:04

Um, so I feel like people are a little bit ignorant towards diabetes, you know, because they don't really know how much goes into it, you know, I mean, everyone could like have a soda or have sugar in their coffee, like they don't think about those things. Like for me, especially when I do go out say to the bar and I order say like a diet coke with like vodka or whatever Like I have to be very mindful that the guy who's making my drink doesn't put like regular Coca cola, you know, oh my blood sugar will Raised in an instant, um, I kind of got off track. What was your question

Benyi: 38:48

exactly? Yeah. Like, uh, what's people reaction? When do you tell them that are they educated enough when, um, you tell them that you are diabetic, like what's their reaction?

Amanda: 38:59

They kind of just like say like, oh, like, you know. I didn't know that you could I normally get you don't look like a diabetic and I'm like, what is a diabetic supposed to look like

Benyi: 39:09

what the fuck? Okay. Sorry.

Amanda: 39:12

No, it's okay. You know? So, I mean, that's usually the response that I get.

Benyi: 39:19

Hey, by the way, Amanda is very good looking, so probably they're like, oh, like good looking girls are not supposed to be diabetic. That's probably what they think, you know, like, thanks man, appreciate that So I, that's my only guess because I know like, you know, okay, so because your portrayal of diabetics in movies or all like always people with glasses Nordic, you know, who could barely have breath, but nobody who is fit like you. Who can kick, who kick ass. Like, you know, it's rare. Like, I mean, they don't portray diabetes like that. Yeah. Yeah.

Amanda: 39:54

The, the best way they portrayed diabetes, I feel like, was in the movie Purple Hearts. I don't know if you've, I've heard where the girl was, oh my God, she had no insurance and she like, uh, wound up marrying a military man so that she would have insurance.

Benyi: 40:09

Oh, no, I haven't watched that for a purple

Amanda: 40:11

heart. I'm telling you. Yeah. I was a little bit because like the insulin like needles that she had and like the insulin vial and like, that's not an insulin vial. I'm like, come on, make it more real. But for everyone else, like, you know, they don't know it.

Benyi: 40:27

Yeah, exactly what people don't know it. That's, that's definitely, but, uh, that's funny. So like, um, what do I need to say? Yeah, to go back to the, uh, to the gym aspect of it. Um, what does the gym brings to you? Like when you go there, like, uh, because you say like, it brings you, um, calm for your anxiety stuff, like, you know.

Amanda: 40:57

Yeah, it really does. Like it brings me kind of like a sense of peace, you know, like if my brain is just like overwired and overstimulated and like, I can't shut it off, like the second I go to the gym and I start doing a workout, like I feel like it, like. Brings me to that, like, present moment in time.

Benyi: 41:17

No, it does. Like, you know, and like, uh, that's what kickboxing does to me. And that's also what I wanted you on the podcast, because I noticed that I got that vibe from you that, like, you were look, you weren't there to try to get into a flow state, you know, a state where like. You at peace. Yeah. I liked what you say. The word being at peace is really is very, um, um, it's, uh, I think a good description of it, um, is there, uh, and also, um, you know, uh, I guess the endorphins and, uh, the dopamine that comes to evade, like, I, I really feel great when I go to the gym and I work out is definitely a part of, you know, um, I, uh, sobriety, my recovery, um, yeah. Um, what other, uh, coping mechanism you have, like, you know, you told me like, sometimes you suffer from anxiety. So like, what else do you do? Like, uh, when, you know, things are not going your way necessarily.

Amanda: 42:34

I'll try to like, listen to. Music, relaxing music, or I really, uh, enjoy journaling, you know, putting my thoughts on paper.

Benyi: 42:43

Hell yeah, journaling here too. I don't know why. Yeah, I journal all the time.

Amanda: 42:49

Um, I tried meditation, but I don't really I don't know. I can't really get into meditation that much, unfortunately. Oh,

Benyi: 42:58

I am. I meditate every day. Like, uh, I love it. Yeah. I love it. Like, I meditate 10 minutes on average. I could go longer, but I think 10 minutes is the right spot. I use the app Calm. Mm hmm. Like, uh, yeah. Tell me

Amanda: 43:11

about that. Yeah. I do that a little bit. I did like it, but like, you know, I would just fall off. I don't know why. Like, I couldn't just like Stick to it.

Benyi: 43:21

Yeah, I feel you. All right. Uh, so yeah, we're reaching the end of this interview. Uh, do you have any question for me before I give the mic back to my audience? Yeah.

Amanda: 43:35

Uh, I can't think of any questions right now, Benny.

Benyi: 43:40

That's fine. You know, you are such a great guest. I mean, it flows. And also like this is definitely one of the interviews where I learned the most about diabetes because I was ignoring myself to For me, diabetes was especially type one. It was just low blood sugar. You need to shoot yourself with insulin and then you find boom. I had no idea. For example, that you need it to be between a branch, like, you know, insulin

Amanda: 44:04

when you're low, you actually treat with juice.

Benyi: 44:09

Wait, when you low, you drink juice? Yeah. And uh, when you, okay. So why do you take insulin for? So

Amanda: 44:16

insulin is for high blood sugar. Oh. So like insulin is something I eat. I have to take insulin and when my blood sugar is high.

Benyi: 44:28

Yo, that, that, I'm so glad I made this episode because it makes, it makes more sense. Like I, I was very, Ignorant about the whole situation with, you know, like diabetes. I mean, before I didn't even know which one was which. I didn't know which one was type one. I didn't know which one was type two until I met you, who is very knowledgeable on the, but it's crazy because I guess like we don't, let's ask another question before we leave. What do you think is your perception of diabetes now in, in the world? You know, you say like you personally know your social life, you know, you, you wear your, your condition. You basically tell you pretty forward with it. But, uh, what's your perception of how the world see people with diabetes usually? Because Um, I'm going to tell you what I used to, how I,

Amanda: 45:32

yeah, so my perception is, you know, everyone loves to make diabetic jokes, you know, like everyone be like, well, if I eat this candy bar, I'm going to get diabetes or they always associate sugar with diabetes. Yes, okay, technically wrong, but I don't like get diabetes by eating a chocolate bar and you're not always going to get type two diabetes being overweight. Sometimes it's just in the jeans for me. Like, my perception is that people, they have a little bit of knowledge, but they don't have much of any knowledge about what really goes into it. So that's why I like to be like upfront and like forward with my diabetes. Yes. Because I like to educate people on what it is that I have to go through day to day

Benyi: 46:15

basis. Yeah. And like, yo, like what you said about even like some like benign trips, like going skiing or going like, you know, I don't know, South Beach, Florida on the sun and worrying about if you're pumping, like, that's something that I could not have imagined until you tell me, like, it didn't cross my mind for me, like. There was like, I didn't know there was so much that could happen in the way of you getting your medication, even if assuming that you have it, like from the insurance, there are like so many, so many, um, so basically we have this long chain and. Made of like several links and each link will break the chain of you getting healthy, you know, and that's, that's scary. Like I could, and thanks us, thanks. Thank you for educating us on that.

Amanda: 47:15

Yeah, definitely. I mean, I have so many stories. It's like unbelievable. You know, I want to go for a hike, you know, I have to prepare that for my diabetes. You know, I have to make sure, like, I have plenty of snacks, you know, um, juice just in case I go low, like, I went hiking in Colorado, so I was like, okay, the heat is gonna dehydrate me, so I have to make sure that, like, I'm drinking enough water so that my blood sugar app reads correctly, and then I was just like, I have to, like, bring, um, a second form to test my blood sugar just in case, like, I get too dehydrated so that I know, like, my real blood sugar. Like, there's so much that goes into it. That's

Benyi: 47:59

nuts.

Amanda: 48:02

Yeah.

Benyi: 48:04

I'm of like, I would just stay my ass home. Like, I would just like stay at home and not move. Like, you know, I'm like, this is too complicated for me. Thank God. Oh my

Amanda: 48:13

God. Yeah, that's why it's detrimental with drinking. And that's why I really don't like drinking because, you know, it really does like mask so many different things drinking, you know. And then too, it's just like, You know, who wants to say something when they're drunk and then wake up in the morning and be like, Oh my God, you know, like diabetes and everything.

Benyi: 48:34

So. Oh, man. But yeah. All right. All right. Thank you, Amanda, very much for being a guest on Stairway to Redemption. I cannot wait to release this episode. It's definitely going to be a refreshing episode to know what, you know, because being it's not only people who are in recovery that have to stop drinking, uh, do we have also people we've Uh, pre existing conditions that are need to be mindful of their drinking. And it's always good to have, like, you know, to see what are the overlaps, all the differences into our approach to change our relationship with alcohol. And that's very, that's very, uh, insightful. All right. Um, thank you, Amanda. And I will see you guys, uh, for the conclusion. Bye. All right. All right. All right. Thank you very much. Big thank you to Amanda for being the guest for episode 50. Wow. We made 50 of those. Episode 50 of Stairway to Redemption. Uh, yeah. Thank you for bringing the clarity on what, you know, diabetes is, especially type 1 diabetes. Uh, yeah. I learned a lot in this episode. Oh, wow. Like, um, I didn't know enough. I think I had probably some misconception. I don't think so. But. I didn't know enough. Definitely. Thank you. Alright guys. Uh, so, uh, I posted on IG that the next episode will be a live q and a. To celebrate my one year anniversary, I would like to thank you guys for being along in my journey. Uh, yeah. So it's gonna be March 10th at 3:00 PM uh, on ig and you can send, uh, your question ahead at. Stairway to redemption podcast at gmail. com. If you follow us on IG, you're going to see the post. All right, guys, I will see you next week. Bye.