Episode 43: Holistic Approach

Benyi: 0:05

Hi, my name is Benny Johnson. As some of you know, I've been struggling with addiction. However, I decided to change my life and went into recovery. I started this podcast 90 days clean and I want to take you along in my journey. What does lie ahead of me? Let me be frank. I do not know. Will I ever drink again? I do not know. This is how Stairway to Redemption was born. It is my search for answer in a real time process of what is going to work for me. It is then my aspiration to help you figure out what is going to work for you. It is our journey together. Hello, hello and welcome back to another episode of Stairway to Redemption. Today we welcome Brittany. Brittany is the founder of Faithful Fitness by Brittany and Holistic Nurse Coaches. She's going to educate us on the fundamentals of holistic health, share her story as well, and why she made a move from more conventional medicine toward the holistic health. I give you guys Brittany. How are you doing

Brittany: 1:36

today Brittany? I'm doing well. I'm doing good. Uh, you know, I know you always ask deeper than just the well doing good. So what's been on my mind lately and heart is looking at the ways in which limiting myself and judgment gets in the way of love. So that's been something that I've really been processing lately. And it's been really insightful, a little challenging, and I'm also grateful that I'm taking the time to do that.

Benyi: 2:18

Thank you very much for sharing that. Um, so. Uh, question, um, what's your relationship with alcohol or are you yourself in recovery? Can you share that

Brittany: 2:33

with us? I haven't drank any alcohol. January 1st will be two years.

Benyi: 2:38

Oh, awesome. Nice.

Brittany: 2:41

It's good. I say it's one of the best decisions that I made is not to drink. I love not drinking. Life has been Life was good before and life is so much better now for me. I feel like I've grown a lot, healed a lot, I feel better. I love not having any guilt from drinking or hangovers. I know I'm

Benyi: 3:05

healthier. Uh, was it by choice or like, uh, yourself? Um, you know, uh, you ended up like me, had to go to the institution of, uh, recovery.

Brittany: 3:18

I didn't go to recovery. I didn't go to rehab. Although I will tell you when I was younger. Like in my teens and early twenties, I could have definitely went to rehab, I think at times, for sure. I, uh, actually at the beginning of 2021, I did a hundred day challenge, a fitness challenge, and I said, okay, I'm not going to drink for a hundred days. Coming off the holidays, needed a break and I kept going back and forth in my mind. Oh, am I going to drink again? What am I going to do after this hundred days? And I had quit before for like four or five months. And then I went back to it. And then for a long, it's like a habit again. And then when I questioned myself, what if I just stopped drinking altogether? It was this really deep sense of calm and peace. So then I was like, that's what I'm going to do. It's time. I've drank enough alcohol in my life. I can't, I can go the rest of my life without it. I've got plenty of drinks. And so then from there I stopped drinking. I did some deeper, I read this book, how to quit drinking the easy way. And also like a book about how to quit drinking for women. And just stop to, I'm never drinking again. I don't want to drink again. My life is so much better without drinking.

Benyi: 4:38

Oh, that's, that's, that's, uh, that's cool. That's funny that you mentioned that hundred day challenge. I don't know if you heard about this book called, uh, 75 hard. Uh, yeah. So my friend is doing the 75 hard. Day challenge. And you know, since him and I are both in recovery, the not drinking part is the easiest. That's the easy part.

Brittany: 5:02

Yeah. Challenge is hard. I started that about two workouts a day. All that water, the special

Benyi: 5:08

diet. Yeah. One gallon of water, two workouts a day. One has to be outside.

Brittany: 5:14

Take the picture. I did it for like 11 days. I was taking a picture when I was like right before bed, forgetting to take the picture. I'm like, I'm not into this. But I have friends do it, they said it really changed things for

Benyi: 5:26

them. I have two friends, uh, in recovery who are doing it. One, she did it once, she do it again. She does it so often just to reset herself, I guess. Uh, I have the book here at home. I didn't even open the first page. Like, I'm like, nah. Wait, because the constraint for me is, and don't get me wrong. I go to the gym almost every day. Yeah, it's just, it's just a constraint idea that, you know, that you have to, I'm like, once it, and we're going to talk about it in the, in this interview, uh, because I have a couple of questions about like. Um, when it comes to holistic approach, especially with meditation, you know, how the discipline versus the having to do it, like, you know, um, I think personally there's a fine balance if you push yourself to do it because you want to learn the discipline versus when you see it as a chore, like, and, um, yeah. Um, but yeah, I

6:35

didn't

Brittany: 6:35

feel like that. Go ahead. 75 hard. I exercise nearly every day and then I found myself. resisting exercise when I had to do it based on that program. So I didn't have strong enough reason why I was doing it. I was doing it with a friend, didn't last too long. I think like 11 days, maybe not even that long, but to go into what you said about meditation, as far as a discipline, yes, you're right in the sense that we need to have consistency to build habits, just like we do in sobriety, you know, just like you do and anything exercise, getting to the gym, that consistency is what really makes that become a habit. And I'm of a believer that there's cycles, ebbs and flows, and so having some fluidity in what that looks like to some degree, but I will say like having that some kind of discipline that supports your mental health. In your focus and taking that time and stillness, we all need to do that. Especially with the way our lifestyles are nowadays, we're bombarded with information, we're constantly receiving information on the go. So it is important to take time and starting with. A couple minutes, two to five minutes, right? That's how you really can build that meditation practice. Starting, starting small, make it easy on yourself.

Benyi: 8:03

Oh yeah, that's definitely true. Like, uh, uh, sometimes I feel like I'm overstimulated by everything, even if it's like noise of headphones, listening to music. Sometime, you know, this morning, for example, I didn't even on my way to work. I didn't, I didn't listen to music because I felt like, you know, I just wanted to hear my surroundings and not, um,

Brittany: 8:30

yeah. But how insightful that you're aware of that, because we do get used to being constantly stimulated and always having music and podcast and conversation, TV. The people around us, you know, if you live in a city, all the city life in our brain, our nervous system, even our body needs that time where we're not being, you know, bombarded with sound and other things that are stimulating

Benyi: 8:58

us. No, yeah, that's the, that's definitely true. And, uh, we, I have a few questions about, um, uh, we're going to abort those topics later. during this interview, but I wanted to start with, could you give us a proper definition of what holistic health is? I feel like the word holistic has been, is very, um, trending to say the least.

Brittany: 9:21

It is such a trending word for sure. So we're all holistic human beings. We have our physical body, our mental health. Emotional health, spiritual health, and then our social life, our relationships, our job, our hobbies. And so when I work with somebody, it's from that whole holistic standpoint, because all of those areas of our lives influence us. We're at the center of all of that. So if something's really working well in our physical health, it has a positive influence on all those other areas where the same thing is, if we're totally, let's say don't have a spiritual life whatsoever, you know, and that spiritual life, that's your definition. There's varying definitions. You get to, you know, individuals get to decide what that spiritual life is. But if there's no spiritual life at all, it does have an effect on our physical life, emotional, mental. So when I work with somebody that's looking at all of those areas and how can we best support all those areas of life for individuals.

Benyi: 10:29

That's, that's nice because you know, um, uh, the, uh, I thought the holy stick came from holy, you know, like a holy, something holy spiritual, but it's not, it's not like true holistic. If it's comes as like. Uh, the approach of like different stuff, right? Uh, not, I don't want to say different stuff, but different, um, like you said, spiritual, mental, uh, and, uh, physical as well. Right.

Brittany: 10:57

Emotional, spiritual, even finance, right? Like all of these different parts of our life that affect us are holistic. Some people will also use the word holistic as reference to like alternative medicine, herbs, and. Sound healing, that kind of stuff. And I do incorporate that in holistic, but when I hear the word and think of the word holistic, I think of it as us as individuals as a whole, like we're not just a body, we're not just our mind, right? We're not just our emotions. So it's all taking all of that into consideration when we think about ourselves, when we think about our health, like, okay, what's going on with my mental health, how's my physical health, emotional, spiritual. Social life, how are my relationships affecting me, my

Benyi: 11:45

job? So what are the different methods that you're using to evaluate those different aspects? Let's start, for example, um, the spiritual part, like you mentioned, like, uh, whatever it is, it's up to the person to define their spirituality. But how do you, how do you check it? How do you make sure they're like well balanced spiritually? That's

Brittany: 12:14

up to the person to decide, because of course, you know yourself better than I would ever know you. I do ask questions, so I'll ask like, what is your spiritual life like? And for example, some people will say, I have no spiritual life. And as we start to talk, they do have a really deep sense of purpose, a deep sense of mission. They really care about giving back in the world, being a good person. So for them, that might be their spiritual practice. Then there might be other people who don't have a sense of purpose. They don't have a, they don't feel like they have a mission. They're just kind of lost right now. They're not sure if there's anything greater than themselves. So in that case, I would say, okay, right now, I want to encourage you to explore what your spiritual life is, explore meaning, explore what connects you to something greater than yourself. For other people is I have a great relationship with God or nature or the universe. So it really does have different definitions to individuals. So I asked them, you know, how do you define your spiritual life? And some people will say, I haven't given any attention to my spiritual life for the past five years. So when that's the case, it's like, okay, what are those things that help you feel connected spiritually? How can we get you more connected to? Love, to something greater than yourself, to being in service, to your mission, to forgiveness, compassion, those kinds of things.

Benyi: 13:44

Yeah. That's very funny that you just say those words because those words, so I'm a part of a 12 step program, uh, that's pretty popular. And in it, like the word, uh, that you just, you greater than yourself, uh, spirituality are like the cornerstone of those, that 12 step program. Um, what's funny is like, I'm seeing the, the parallels between believing in the power higher than yourself and developing my spirituality, because there is a, even though I believe, you know, spirituality and religion overlap. They, they don't, they're not exactly the same, you know, I always been somewhat religious. Uh, I was raised in a Catholic, uh, uh, family and, but I was definitely a lot, definitely lost touch with my spirituality. When I was in addiction and when I came back, I still don't go to, you know, I don't go to church every Sunday, that kind of stuff. But I'm definitely in touch with my spirituality, that concept of like something that things are outside of my control, that there's a power higher than myself. Um, but yeah, do you see those, what, do you make that also the distinction between religion and spirituality?

Brittany: 15:04

Yeah, and I'm glad you brought that up because sometimes people will say I'm not spiritual because I don't really practice a religion and I don't go to a house of worship, yet they do have that connection to something greater than themselves. They do know that there is a universal, you know, law, there's, you know, divine energy. And so religion, I would say, is really a structure of Beliefs, right, passed down, there is that spiritual component, but people can be religious and not spiritual, right? You can go to a temple, you can go to a church, and not, and just listen to the, listen to the words, just hear them, but not really connect to them, not put them into action in your life, not feel them in your spirit, in your soul, you're just there. You have a religious practice, but it doesn't connect with your heart, with your soul. You don't feel really connected to anything greater than yourself. Whereas you can be spiritual, but not necessarily religious or go to a house of worship like you share. You don't go to a house of worship, but you do have a religion and you consider yourself a spiritual person.

Benyi: 16:22

Yes. Yes. I am glad like you make also those distinction because, um, you know, uh, when people hear the word God, sometime they buckle a little bit, they're a little bit reticent to, like, I'm not, you know, uh, there's a difference to me. But, um, the next question I had, how, So, no, let's start with this. So, you know, I read that you, those different methods to connect with your spirituality and you have Reiki meditation. What's actually Reiki? Let's start there. What's

Brittany: 16:59

Reiki is a form of Japanese relaxation and energy healing. So whenever I, I always ask permission, if I do a Reiki session with someone, you can give that, think about giving yourself positive energy, loving energy. And with Reiki, it works on seven different energy centers in the body. So the root shock, shock or different energy centers in our body meridians. If you think of like acupuncture. They work with the meridians in the body and each of these energy centers are connected to different qualities. I'll give you an example. The root chakra is connected to our sense of belonging. Safety security, like foundation belonging. So if somebody is having feeling like I don't belong here, always in fight or flight survival mode, having a hard time, just feeling like safe and secure. Maybe they have really hard time of money. chakra. People who talk all the time and don't listen, or people who have a hard time speaking up using their voice, sharing, you know, asking for what they need, setting boundaries, they could have an imbalance in that area. So with Reiki, it helps align our energy, brings in love, light, anytime I offer it. I asked the person, sometimes people are very religious, so it's like, you know, we're doing this all in the name of whatever spiritual belief that they have. Right. And it's really the person who's open to the healing, you know, that probably like we're all open to healing, right? We have that ability to heal and, you know, I don't really do it a whole lot other than allow them to be open to the healing there and facilitate that

Benyi: 18:59

energy. That's very, um, I'm glad you brought that up, being open to the healing, because I was going to ask you this next, how important is it for the person to be open to the healing for it to work? Because I'm taking the example of something definitely more concrete, like gravity. You don't have to believe in gravity for gravity to work, right? Like that's, uh, that's an example, but when somebody try a holistic, uh, you know, let's go with Reiki meditation and say that it didn't work, is it fair to say that they were not open to the healing? I don't

Brittany: 19:44

think so. Right. Because that definition of did it work? There's so many things that happen that we don't. See with the eyes. We don't process in the brain, we may not know in that moment. Right. So I wouldn't say that it's like, Oh, they weren't open to it. I will say that in, you know, practicing, providing that to people who are very open. They will say afterwards, wow, I feel so much better. I feel so much lighter. I feel peaceful. I feel relaxed. Oh, I felt like this pressure I've been carrying around in my chest, it feels like it's gone. Oh, wow, I realized I was holding on to this conversation I had with my family last week that's really been wearing me down and I'm not even worried about that. Whereas if somebody is really closed off, they may be like, well, that was okay. I'm gonna feel a little relaxed, but I wouldn't say that, you know, they did it wrong or anything where, you know, we're sometimes we're more open, sometimes we're not, and there's so much that we don't know that happens that doesn't meet the eye, if that makes sense.

Benyi: 20:56

Yeah, it does. And, um, I'm going to, I think it has maybe to do with people's expectation of, you know, some, um, um, myself included the first time I started, you know, meditating or like doing because, uh, we were introduced to sound bath. and sound and acupuncture at the facility I went to for at the rehab facility. So that's the first time I did a sound bath and the first time I had acupuncture. Um, the sound bath was good. The acupuncture, I was not sure. That was not too much my thing. And I wonder If I was wondering how much of a chance I should, how much chances or how much time I should give it to for to see the result, because unfortunately you have people for like me who by default are very, um, result oriented, result minded, I need to see that it works and I'm working on that by the way, but like, how will you, Um, explain or try to attract somebody who is very result minded into the holistic approach.

Brittany: 22:16

That's a great question. I like to think of it like the gym. People can, even if you don't exercise, you know, you go to the gym one time. First of all, you're probably not the first time you go, you're not going to really. Be digging it. You're not going to enjoy it that much if you're not a gym goer. You might feel a little accomplished. You're going to be sore. You're not going to be in the best shape of your life. But if you go to the gym every Three or four times a week regularly for at least a year, you're going to be in better physical shape than you were a year ago, more than likely, if you're doing strength training, you're eating decent, you're going to notice in your body, Oh wait, I'm more tone. My biceps look better. My shoulder. Oh yeah. I'm stronger. I can lift heavier. I have more endurance. I have more energy, but the one workout great, right? It's, it's awesome. Let's not discredit it. But it's not going to change the world. You're not going to radically change your life probably. And the same thing, a lot of times with anything, even like acupuncture, like you get one session, you may be like, Oh, okay. I feel a little less stress. My shoulder feels a little, you know, if you had pain or. Whatever you went to them for. And even with acupuncture, I'd say most of the time people are like, go a few times a week for like three or four weeks, depending on whatever your issue is, some people go regularly with Reiki because it's energy. Sometimes people one session and they're great. For a while, they feel good. And same thing with, let's say, um, something I offer is called emotional freedom technique. And if somebody comes to me specifically, I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety about, about my job and we're able to work through it, then they may not have as much anxiety around their job, but will they have anxiety again? Probably. So, you know, it's like anything it's a lifestyle and, uh, a journey. And I know we're sold on such quick results. Oh, yeah. We also know that it takes a while. I know when I first started in like personal growth, like 10 years ago, I did some trainings and I thought, okay, I've fixed all my problems. I've got this whole thing figured out about life. I'm good now. I think it's smooth sailing the rest of my life. I've worked through all this stuff a little bit. I know this is Gonna be the rest of my life to continue these practices continue with holistic wellness On my spiritual path taking care of my physical body. So for anybody who's like, I don't know if I'm bi holistic I'll tell you well, you are a holistic being You definitely are, right? You have mental health, you have physical health, you have your emotions, you have your spiritual part of you, you have your relationships, the things you enjoy doing, so you're holistic. So if you can look at yourself like that and think, okay, how can I elevate and bring health and wellness to all these different areas of my life, it's going to have a benefit versus if we're like, yeah, I don't care about my mental health. It's going to end up taking a toll on our body. It's going to take a toll on our relationships.

Benyi: 25:19

Yeah, definitely. I agree with that. Uh, and, uh, you, you brought up, uh, my next question, the, the EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques. Uh, yeah. What are those? This is the first time I heard the Emotional Freedom Techniques. Could you elaborate?

Brittany: 25:35

This weaves in great because you talked about acupuncture. So we have acupressure points, right? That's where they'll stick the needles in and acupuncture all throughout our body. So with emotional freedom technique, we actually use our fingertips and tap on different acupressure points throughout our body. There's like different sequences that we tap, and it lowers the body stress response. So it's really cool in that it lowers cortisol, which is a stress hormone, and it releases some feel good hormones. So just tapping on the side of the hand under the pinky finger, we have points like on our Our sternum here on our collarbone, and so you can do the tapping in itself, you'll feel calmer. Also, it sinks the mind in the body, because a lot of times we might be all up in our head, disconnected from our body, so it helps to bring those two together. And then we bring in positive psychology, so let's say somebody's having a craving, for example. Last thing we want to do, we just want to, a lot of times, push the craving away, or we just give it, we go, we give into it, like, oh, screw it, I got to go for it. So, with EFT tapping, and we'll use this for food cravings, for this example. First, we have to have the awareness, okay, I'm craving the food. Second, you know, know the tool, but we can use it and say, okay, even though I'm craving this food, I would like to, Choose what's going to support me best right now, even though I have this craving, I know this is going to pass even though this craving is really strong. I'm just going to watch it right now and breathe. And then we'll tap through all of these points and you'll feel a shift in your body. You'll feel a shift in your mind. And then we can start to kind of. Really self coach, like it's okay that I feel this way I'm able to, you know, take care of what I need. What am I really craving right now and finding a way to really take care of ourselves in a way that's more supportive than let's say, eating two bags of Oreos for example, I'll use it sometimes if I'm anxious before public speaking. I'll do the tapping. I'll picture myself getting ready to go up on a stage or like, okay, I'm anxious. Like I'm shaking all that stuff. I'll get myself in that state. And then I'll tap on myself and lower my body stress response and remind myself it's okay. I'm not going to die up on that stage. Yeah, that might be people looking through their social media on their phone. Somebody is going to get up and leave the room, but it's all good. Like I'm safe. I know why I'm there. And so it's a really cool tool. It's simple. Kids can do it. I've had clients teach our kids. It's a very forgiving practice. So if anybody's like, Oh, I'm curious about what she's talking about. I will say, look it up. It's called emotional freedom technique or tapping. Another name for it is

Benyi: 28:24

EFT. Oh, yeah. Um, that reminds me a lot of a technique I learned, uh, in rehab called also heavening. I think I mentioned it to you.

Brittany: 28:34

You did. It looks cool. Yeah. that?

Benyi: 28:37

Uh, no, it was more, uh, I remember it was when I took, uh, uh, the trauma class. Okay. It's, it's very useful for people who suffer from PTSD from severe trauma. Okay. Uh, I personally don't. So I never found myself. Um, do you think that technique, but I do something, I try to be self aware and very mindful like, um, you know, when, um, I'm angry, for example, uh, I try to first acknowledge that I'm angry and I try to trace, uh, the origin of that feeling because. Uh, myself when I'm angry and it happens every day that like, I always think about somebody who wronged me in the past 10 years ago. And, uh, when I start thinking about it, I. I, I get aware. I'm like, wait a minute, what am I thinking about this again? And then when I trace it back, I'm like, Oh yeah, because right. I'm late for this thing. Then I start, you know, the anxiety buildup, the stress buildup, or, uh, I don't know. I just missed the train and then I'm upset, you know, and I've tried to. Trace it back and be like, it's okay. And usually it solves itself. Uh, it's a flow. I know. Also it will come back that, you know, but before I notice there are days where I don't even think about, you know, like those, those things, like people who, the people who won't be in the past. Yeah.

Brittany: 30:14

Yeah. I think like sometimes we can't always stop those intrusive thoughts through that awareness and mindfulness through. Intention and having healthy coping mechanisms, we can reroute those thoughts and come back to the present moment because the mind so much of the time will bring us back into the past and really disrupt our present moment if we're not aware of it.

Benyi: 30:41

Yeah, um, what helped me a lot with it too was stoicism. Stoicism is very prevalent in, uh, yeah. So reading, uh, the Daily Stoic, learning more about stoicism definitely helped me with, you know, controlling my emotions. It helps

Brittany: 30:57

put things in perspective. Yeah. I don't know a ton about stoicism, but I have read, you know, some on it and it does, it puts life in perspective. Another person I like a lot that really talks about questioning our mind is Byron Katie. So she really teased, you know, her, you know, yeah. So it's like all of the suffering that we experience so much of it is. The stories we're telling in our mind, and we can experience so much suffering in this moment, bringing and telling a story that happened in the past, replaying that movie, and then also worrying and visualizing and thinking of what's going to happen, and none of that's actually happening in the present moment. Most of the time. Sometimes, you know, there's some really hard stuff happening in the moment, but a lot of times it's a lot of... Things that we're telling ourselves.

Benyi: 31:54

Yeah. Uh, that's a stoic, uh, philosopher called Seneca who says like, we suffer more in our imagination than we do in reality because we play all those things in our head. Um, but, uh, yeah, like, um, Oh yeah. You just said like, uh, Uh, when it comes to suffering and stuff happening to us, you know, I feel like, do you, do you know when, uh, we should accept it and say, You know, it is what you see it is. And when we should strive or try to fight for more because I think there's a tight rope toro to, to walk on here where like, it's not, because acceptance doesn't mean accept everything that happened to you. I don't fight. But at the same time, fighting and striving for more can lead you, uh, to a state where. You're basically fighting against the current of the events, right?

Brittany: 33:07

If I hear your question correctly, what it makes me think of is something I call radical self compassion. So it's bringing that awareness around our suffering without us getting totally engulfed and drowning in whatever drama or story or struggle we're in challenge, but also not totally disconnecting and unplugging and being like, it's not there. I'm not going to deal with it. So being aware, right, feeling our feelings, but not letting our feelings and our thoughts totally. Drowned us, so to speak, and at times it calls for us to be kind and tender and accept this is what it is, but it also way in which we can be self compassionate is to advocate for ourselves is to stand up and say, Hey. This isn't right, this is what I need, you know, this is how I need to protect myself or protect the people that are, you know, being treated unfairly. This is how I need to motivate myself as well, as a way to be compassionate, so it really is an ebb and flow between that acceptance. Um, this is how things are and also taking action with, with love, really, to create whatever change is necessary for the greater good. So I don't know if that answers your question.

Benyi: 34:26

It does. I never heard that. Can you repeat that term, the radical something? I never heard that term

Brittany: 34:32

before. Radical self compassion. Neff's work, she does, um, like tender self compassion and fear self compassion. So, so tender self compassion is like. You know, that kindness, maybe a hand on your heart, whereas fierce self compassion would be like, Papa bear, mama bear, like, I'm here to protect and really, when you think about world problems. There are certain things that if we just accept them, we're not going to see the positive change that we need in the world. It does require, you know, that compassion of we've got to unite and we need to stand up for what's right. We need to protect, we need to provide for what's best for all humans. And sometimes, you know, with ourselves, okay. It's not great to just accept and let the things are hard and lay on the couch for five weeks. Right. At some point, at some point, it's compassionate to motivate ourselves and be like, look, I know you don't feel like getting up and doing anything, but you got to get up. You got to do something with your life. We're going to do this.

Benyi: 35:40

Yeah. No, I totally agree. And finding the, uh, the, the happy medium between those two stances is, is sometime, you know, the struggle, because when somebody argue, you know, that just want to use, you know, Uh, the term it is what it is, without even giving a fight, it can be, I think it has to do with intentions, you know, what people intentions are whenever, if they are giving up or accepting that, um, this is the outcome of, uh, something, but like the word compassion, I really like that because, um, before I was Um, I was heavy on using consequential thinking to get me out of trouble. Um, you know, like thinking, uh, how, what, how, like people say, play the tape forward, uh, what's going to happen if you decide to punch somebody who pissed you off, but, uh, now that I have the tool of compassion. Uh, I found myself, uh, finding that most of the time when I get into an argument or altercation, and somebody starts yelling, that it's not about me. Like, I can see that that person is suffering or something else is bothering them. And, and like you, we said, like, uh, that there's something deeper in them that, so like using that compassion tool definitely helped me navigate my emotion.

Brittany: 37:16

And there's so much research on compassion too, that it's scientifically proven to help with conflict resolution, help us perform and reach our goals actually better, you know, helps in relationships. Decreases feelings of anxiety and depression like veterans who went to war who came back and had a compassion practice have less PTSD symptoms and less symptoms and less addiction because it's with a self compassion practice. So it's, it's awesome. And I also appreciate when I learned that self compassion doesn't active, it activates the part of the brain that takes action. Sometimes people will think like self compassion is like, it's just like this docile, um, practice, like, right? Like, Oh, it is what it is, right? Like, like, it doesn't really have any much value. It's just a good, nice little feeling. It is, it can be a nice feeling, but it also really activates the action part of the brain and can create really powerful changes in our life. And when you think about it, like, I know when I was really stuck in my shame cycle, and like partying all the time when I was younger, and making all these bad choices. I feel so bad. I beat myself up over it and then I would just go do it again. Like that shame fuels that shame. I was like, I feel bad. Let me just go get drunk and not worry about it in that cycle. And so now my self compassion, I'm able to like actually hold those. Experiences and emotions and thoughts, but then really explore, what do I really need to take care of myself? And so instead of like, okay, let me just go pour more battery acid into my life. It's like, okay, let me go do something to support myself, right. And to help my health and help my mind. Let me go do something for somebody else. Let me get out of my own way.

Benyi: 39:18

Yeah. Uh, that's, that's great that you say that because knowing that you had a background in more traditional, uh, you know, as a critical care nurse, I'm curious now, what made you make the switch, you know, from, um, Being a normal nurse to, um, a holistic coach

Brittany: 39:40

two things. First of all, my own for me realizing, Oh, my gosh, we can heal and we don't have to keep making all these same mistakes over and over and live with all this shame and. I really was able with coaching and different healing modalities to change my life a lot. So that was one thing. Once I learned that, I'm like, everybody needs to know about this. This is amazing. And then second, I had a patients in the ICU who were there from preventable disease, whether it was type 2 diabetes, heart disease, obesity. So many overdoses. So there were things that could be done on the other ends to prevent them from ending up in ICU. And that's really where I decided I really want to help people live a healthy life so that they can, you know, be here, serve their purpose, enjoy themselves, not the ICU bed from preventable disease.

Benyi: 40:40

Yeah, that's, uh, I, I see that, um, but, um, yeah, I can, I can definitely agree with that. Uh, what's your stance then on, um, the use of the regular use of, you know, uh, drugs to maintain yourself, like say people who are on a maintenance for suboxone or like people who take, uh, some, uh, drugs for their mental health, do you think it's a sustainable approach or everybody should learn? The holistic way, no matter what they go through.

Brittany: 41:14

I think everybody has their own right to do what's best for them. Honestly, I do. I think that there are cases where medication is the best option right now. Especially if you think of somebody who's addicted to opioids and then they get on Suboxone for a while, you know, like that's potentially be saving their life in so many ways. Um, I mean, I can speak from personal experience with loved ones and being on Suboxone for them. It was highly addictive and still very much controlling their life. So they made the choice to eventually get off of it. It was hard to get off of it. But they were able to get off of it and then didn't go back on to any opioids. But everybody is different. And the same thing with mental health, um, depending on the degree of depression, the degree of anxiety. I will say that like benzodiazepines, your Xanax, your Plonapin, Are not meant to be taken long term for anxiety and I know people who, again, personal experience with loved ones have been on them for 20 plus years on a pretty daily basis and they're. Are a lot of negative consequences to it. The studies weren't, you know, we don't know the law, we didn't know the long term effects. And so I definitely think that pharmaceuticals have their role in certain situations. It's everyone's choice. Uh, it's not something I can, you know, say for them or make for them and. I know that in a lot of cases, if people want to put in the effort and have the resources and are open to getting off medications, that can be an option. And I'm not telling anybody to stop their medicine. Not to take your medicine. Uh, please hear that and our body. And our minds are really powerful and they, our minds believe a lot of what we tell them.

Benyi: 43:26

Yeah, I agree. Um, I had, uh, a famous, um, dog, the head of, uh, the addiction, uh, research at NYU, who happened to do a, uh, a presentation at the rehab I was at, who says that he doesn't see any problem with. Taking some, you know, medication every day, the way he sees it is, you know, a person who takes drugs for high blood pressure or insulin for diabetic, you have to take it every day. Like if it keeps you alive, it keeps you alive. And I'm like, yeah, we've, you know, anything that affect your mental state, I'm a little bit of reticent to that rhetoric. I have

Brittany: 44:17

had a friend who's schizophrenic. And when he. Goes into a psychosis, if he does not take medication, like he doesn't come back to being able to function in life. So there's, you know, different circumstances. And I think overall, a lot of times things such as like anti depressants, anti anxiety medications, for example, can be used. Temporarily, you know, and we can find resources to help us not have to take those a lot of times, but everybody's situation is. Different. Yeah.

Benyi: 44:57

Everybody's situation is situational. It

Brittany: 45:00

is. It really is. It really is. And I will say the pharmaceutical business is a billions of dollars industry for a reason. Yeah. And we believe that we, you know, as a culture, a lot of us believe that we have to have those things in order to function and to live a healthy life. And I would just invite people to bring curiosity to that. Is that absolutely true? Sometimes it is, sometimes it's not.

Benyi: 45:31

I mean, you just have to go abroad and other culture and see how much less they use medication. And, uh, hey, uh, last time I checked, people in other country feel anxious too. You know, they feel, uh, all kind of emotion as well. And they don't take as much meds as we do. How do... How, why, you know, there

Brittany: 45:55

scores are higher in a lot of other places as well. We're one of the, we were the most medicated, uh, highest medicated countries as far as antidepressants, anti anxieties in our world. Like some of the least happiest. People and like unhealthiest people, as far as a first world country goes. So I think that that is something else to consider if somebody's, you know, reflecting on if their medications are, you know, supporting

Benyi: 46:24

them. Yeah, true that. Um, are we like about to reach the end of the interview, but I wanted to talk about, uh, Busy Woman Syndrome. I saw that something that you help with in your, in your bio. I never heard that term Busy Woman Syndrome. Can you give us a description? I bet in no

Brittany: 46:42

hundreds of them.

Benyi: 46:44

Okay.

Brittany: 46:45

So it's like. As women, men too, men have it too. I just work a lot more with women. That incessant need to always be on the go, always doing something, taking care of everything, taking care of everybody. And from that place of. Like almost anxiety, like so much pressure to constantly be going, performing, doing things can't sit still have to take care of this person, that person may be working so many jobs and feeling just the weight of the world on the shoulders. And when we're in that constant busy ness all of the time with that, like pressure. That anxiety, that inability to ever really sit still, it wreaks havoc on our nervous system. It puts a lot of stress on our body, a lot of stress on our mind, our emotions, our relationships. And we unfortunately start to pay for that. It's not sustainable. And so, I like really invite people, if that's your lifestyle, to really... Look at what are the beliefs that are driving that and I get it. Like some people do need to work two, three jobs to put the food on the table and take care of their kids, right? Single parent, like there are definitely situations in that and even in those. In any situation to look at, see, like, what is the story that's driving this? Right. Well, how can I also take care of myself amongst all of the things that I'm doing? Where can I perhaps say no, or why am I saying yes to volunteer at church when I already have absolutely no time to take care of myself? So that's really the premise of busy woman syndrome. And nowadays, I think women. We have, we, we have more and more pressure, right? We work, take care of kids, do all the things and not to say like, don't do that, but also to find some balance, right? Find some balance. And do you have to do everything and be everything to all people? Like, is that coming from love or is that coming from fear and anxiety? That's survival.

Benyi: 49:03

Yeah. Um, that's, uh, now I, I see what it is. I definitely met a lot of women like that. Like you said.

Brittany: 49:10

It's like, we become martyrs and we got like high blood pressure, our cortisol's through the roof. So we're like, have type two diabetes, we're snappy at our kids or snappy at our significant other, like we can't sleep, like, yeah, maybe we're doing everything, but there's a negative consequence because of it.

Benyi: 49:32

There's a, there's a joke, uh, that's when, uh, that's how, uh, mom, uh, wine moms are born, you know, when they take the wine moment, the glass of wine and like, you know, to relax

Brittany: 49:43

finally. And that's another thing, like the only time, if, if the only time you can unwind is with a substance. You might have busy woman or busy man syndrome, right? Because you're constantly in that go that it's so hard to even just sit down and relax without a substance. And there's other ways.

Benyi: 50:06

It is crazy. Oh, I've seen, um. People who, if they don't do it all by themself, they afraid that it's not going to be done well, so they will rather do it all by themselves. Their mental charge, like, the charge on their mind is like, if they forget something and it hasn't been done, they, they basically blame themselves because they knew they couldn't rely on somebody else. It's not even, they don't even... They might blame that person for not doing their part, you know, let's talk about a significant other, but it always seemed to like, Oh, I trusted my husband or my wife to take care of this, knowing that they are not going to do it, that they never done it, or that they rarely do it, so it's my fault for trying to count on them. Have you seen that too?

Brittany: 50:58

Oh, I definitely have. I said, we can't always believe our minds. We can't always trust our minds. And so if we already had that, that intention, that energy that they're not going to be able to do it anyway, or we're caught in the, everyone's always going to let me down. We're going to continue to attract everybody always lets me down situations. So if we see these patterns showing up over and over and over in our life, like same situation, different face. Right. Same situation, different job, same situation, different habit, right? Bad habit. Then it's a really great opportunity for us to say, okay, common denominator here is me. And what, what gets, uh, what do I get to? Work on here, work what gets to have some love and healing and we can change that, which is so cool,

Benyi: 51:53

So like, do you believe then that um, the energy that you attract is also a function, is a function of your state of energy? Like if you attract positive people, you have to be positive yourself.

Brittany: 52:10

I do believe in law of attraction. So I do believe that we attract things to us. What I think we have to be really aware of is what we label is like positive and negative. And what we label is good and bad. For example, I could say me getting an injury as a bad thing. It's a negative thing. I attracted that to myself with negative thinking, whereas. Is that true? Is that, you know, and how am I to say, maybe having that injury could be the best thing that ever happened to me in that I realized I wasn't living my life authentically or prevented me from getting in an even worse accident. Right. So I think we have to really be careful with that whole, like, positive attracting positive people. I will say though, personally, like the more I've taken care of myself and. Worked on, you know, healing my past, I'm around more positive people, you know, everybody I'm around is that, you know, going to jail and fighting. We're not like having big fights and, you know, that kind of stuff. So in a way things have changed. I think as a result of how my mind has changed. But there's still, that's still going on in the world.

Benyi: 53:40

Yeah, that's, you know, that's, that's definitely true. Um, all right. So we reached the end of this interview and, uh, now the floor is yours. Uh, if you would like to talk about, you know, whatever, like a book or something, a recommendation, a message. All right.

Brittany: 53:58

Perfect. Thanks Vinny. So I would say anybody listening, To remember that you have the superpower to create your sense of inner calm and peace so much of the time We'll say all this stuff is happening out there. She made me do it he made me do it on this way because We really have the ability to create a sense of inner calm and inner ease one of the ways we can do it is to Mindful breathing so I'm gonna ask everybody who's listening to take a full breath with me Go ahead and breathe in through your nose. Let your belly rise. Close your eyes if you're not driving. Exhale out through your mouth with a sigh. Go ahead and do another one. Relax those shoulders. Take a big, full breath in. Expand the ribs. That's the key there. Let them breathe in into the belly. And then long exhale out through your mouth. If that feels good, you can do a few more breaths like that. So even just a few breaths have the ability to start to bring us into calm. That's one of your superpowers is to remember the breath. Use the breath to bring you back into the present, use your breath to self regulate, to self soothe, create that calm, and if anybody would like any more information on the emotional freedom technique, or to keep in touch, I'd say they can come to my website, which is holisticnursecoaches.

Benyi: 55:26

com. Uh, yeah. And I'm going to add all those, all your links to your website and to your pages in the

Brittany: 55:34

description. Awesome. Thank you so much.

Benyi: 55:37

Thank you. Uh, thanks guys for listening to this episode and I will see you guys for the conclusion. Thanks

Brittany: 55:44

everybody.

Benyi: 55:45

All right, all right, all right. Thank you very much to Brittany for this, for being the guest and this episode of Stairway to Redemption. Like I've mentioned it, uh, previously, I like to have people who are not necessarily in recovery, but who have. Uh, ways and definitely information and, um, knowledge on how to help others stay sober. And I definitely think that the holistic approach is one of them. Uh, so like I said, uh, I'm going to add the code, the context and the pitch of, uh, from Brittany in the description. And if you guys would like to reach her, like feel free and, uh, yes, as always, it's been a pleasure and I will see you guys next week. Bye.